Larry H's Movie Reviews for 2008
Index of Movies:
Frost/Nixon |Valkyrie |The Curious Case of Benjamin Button |Doubt |Milk |Slumdog Millionaire |Australia |Twilight |Quantum of Solace |Changeling |The Secret Life of Bees |Pride and Glory |Appaloosa |Eagle Eye |Righteous Kill |Burn After Reading |"Ike 2 Larry H. 0" "Burn Before Reading" and "Righteous Kill" |Traitor |Vicky Cristina Barcelona |Pineapple Express |Swing Vote |Step Brothers |Mamma Mia! |The Dark Knight |Hellboy II |Hancock |The Happening |The Incredible Hulk |Get Smart |Kung Fu Panda |The Visitor |Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull | The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian | Is It Memorial Day Yet? | Iron Man | Shine a Light | Street Kings | Leatherheads | 21 | Meet the Brown's | Horton Hears a Who! | Semi-Pro | The Diving Bell and the Butterfly | Vantage Point | Definitely Maybe | Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins | There Will Be Blood | The Bucket List | The Savages
Frost/Nixon
I have been attempting to see this movie for weeks, but could not pull the trigger. Richard Milhous Nixon was in his second term as President while I was in law school in the early 70's and I was totally devoted to watching the Watergate Hearings each day when classes were over. I knew all the players and their deeds. At least I thought I did so I am always searching for new information and angles on Watergate.
The Frost/Nixon interviews really happened and I watched them dutifully when they were originally broadcast, but I expected this movie to give me the deep background and understanding that only a full length feature film can provide. And I was even more confident because my hero Ron "Opie" Howard is the director.
And gee wiz was I disappointed. "Ho-hum" comes to mind. "Boring" also pops up. I repeatedly shook my head (when it was not bobbing off) and said "...
oh come on, Opie, bring it home; this is a show about Nixon and Watergate; show me some suspense and drama; humor...anything." But nothing.
If this movie was not about a historically significant figure and there was not a buzz about a possible nomination for Frank Langella as Nixon, I would have walked out. This movie was flat, no intrigue and downright dumb.
The acting was uninspired, the sets bland, the costumes lacked creativity, but I thought the sound was adequate and the editing was average. But come on, Opie.
I can not vote for Langella for Best Actor for the same reason that I can't vote for a great baseball player to be Most Valuable Player if his team consistently stinks. Oliver Platt and Kevin Freakin' Bacon were completely wasted in this pitiful excuse for a movie.
Here's a bright note: I had the best seat in Theatre #10 at First Colony AMC
- at the top of the stairs with a railing in front of my seat so I could plop my legs over and through the bars. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69. Larry H.
Valkyrie
This is another one of those Christmas Day movies that hopes that it is good enough to garner Oscar nominations and then get a bump in the spring and make millions from the Oscar hype. Maybe yes, maybe no.
Tom Cruise as Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg who plots to kill Adolf Hitler in the summer of 1944 turns in a memorable performance and has a shot at a nomination. He is wounded in North Africa early in World War II and loses a hand, two fingers and wears a patch over one eye. Stauffenberg is recruited by others who are convinced that Hitler is a madman and is dishonoring Germany by the torturing and killing of civilians and genocide of the Jews.
Their goal is to kill Hitler and then take over the government using a military plan named "Valkyrie."
The story is complicated with many characters and story angles, but Director Bryan Singer successfully keeps things moving and understandable which is quite a feat since there are many moving parts. The movie is based on a true story and has some historical accuracy even though I sensed the Hollywood nuances. I don't have a problem with not letting the truth get in the way of a good story; I try to live my life accordingly.
I was totally engaged throughout the movie and was empathetic with all the players and was nervous and scared when things were edgy, but it's just a war movie telling an old story so don't expect more.
I'm glad I saw "Valkyrie" and can mark it off my Christmas list. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
This movie came out on Christmas Day and I had wanted to be one of the first, but I was busy. Santa Claus has been very, very good to me.
When I first sat down at my anointed aisle seat about ten rows up at Loew's Theatre #11, I realized that there was someone sitting directly behind me and I was disappointed that I had not paid more attention and picked an alternate seat. Within minutes a woman sat down directly in front me. I was trapped.
I had used all my usual tricks to keep someone from sitting near me by sticking my leg high and crooked and staring into space to create a bigger aura. Perhaps it was too dark and my vibes were lost. I moved to the top of the stairs where one can dangle one's long legs as there is not a chair in front. I was very comfortable.
This movie is taken from the original 1920's short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald and this screenplay is by Eric Roth. Benjamin explains that he was "born under unusual circumstance." I'll say. Baby Benjamin came out of the womb with the features and arthritis of an 80 year old man and then began aging backwards. Yes, that's right; he started out his childhood looking like an old man while slowing becoming a much younger person and somewhere in the shuffle he started looking just like Brad Pitt.
Angelina's boy performed admirably and is currently on the short list for Best Actor. I give Brad good marks but his performance is not worth a nomination.
The story is tender, loving, and certainly curious, but Director David Fincher could not plug all the holes in this script and my mind wondered periodically. Run time is 160 minutes which is about 60 minutes too long. Dang, that means I just lost an hour.
Cate Blanchett as the main love interest is spectacular and kudos to Benjamin's other girlfriend Tilda Swinton. I want to admit that I routinely underestimate Tilda due to her odd appearance but she can act.
This is not a bad movie, but it lacks greatness because it tried to develop too many characters and plot angles when a straight-forward fantasy about an old man growing young would have sufficed.
Santa has delivered many potentially good movies this holiday season and I intend to see them all. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 88. Larry H.
Doubt
Another trip into the heart of Houston to the Angelika Film Center nestled between The Wortham Center, Jones Hall, and the Federal Courthouse. How come the 'burbs can't get these movies at the same time?
I paid for valet parking because it was cold and the underground parking is not my strong suit. There were a lot of after-church folks at this noon showing of "Doubt" on a blustery Sunday before Christmas.
I quickly noted that the Angelika had Dr. Pepper instead of Mr. Pibb and I was very glad. But at the last minute I panicked and bought a small Root Beer. I don't like Root Beer with popcorn.
The setting of this deeply thought-provoking movie is 1964 Bronx at a junior high Catholic school that is run by an old fashion nun named Sister Aloysius (Meryl Streep). She rules the school by fear and discipline and all the students are scared of her and the nuns are intimidated.
The school has accepted its first black student named Donald Miller. Young, innocent Sister James (Amy Adams) suspects that Father Flynn (Philip Seymour Hoffman) might have had an improper relationship with this 12 year old boy and she shares her suspicions with Sister Aloysius.
Sister Aloysius becomes convinced that Father Flynn has committed an "infringement" on the boy and confronts Father Flynn with little evidence other than her belief that she "knows people" and has reached a moral certainty that the priest is guilty. A battle of wills ensures.
Can you imagine a more intriguing on-screen confrontation between two more worthy actors than Streep and Hoffman? Me neither. It is a thing of beauty.
There is a scene between the priest and the nun in her office that will become legendary. Movie historians will fondly remember these two acting giants and winners of Oscars for Best Acting clashing with their penetrating eyes and celebrated expressions without a hint of overacting.
Steep has been nominated an astonishing 14 times (won twice) and I have little doubt that she will receive a 15th. Hoffman won for "Capote" in 2005 and deserves another nomination but might be overshadowed by Streep.
Director and screenwriter John Patrick Shanley obviously understands the complicated dynamics of the Catholic Church and has created a masterpiece that is the epitome of moviemaking. His creation of this emotionally edgy story unveiled through simple stage designs and straight-forward dialogue allows the audience to savor its doubts. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 92. Larry H.
Milk
My Saturday morning started with a bang - breakfast burrito at Chick-fil-A and shopping with Monique H. at Target and back home by 9:15 AM. That was the deal as I was committed to make the 10:20 showing of "Milk" which required a trip to Studio 30 in Houston.
As I pulled in the parking lot, I was not hungry but as soon as I walked in the AMC theatres the aroma and lure of fresh popcorn was more than I could stand. Before you could say "matinee" I was having brunch of Mr. Pibb, popcorn (no butter) and Milk Duds. I settled into my seat in Theatre #26 shortly after 10:30 AM.
Sean Penn has been nominated four times for an Oscar and will probably get a nom this time, but I don't think he matches his Oscar-winning performance in "Mystic River" (2004) with his portrayal of Harvey Milk.
City Supervisor Milk was assassinated in 1978 along with San Francisco Mayor George Moscone. They were shot by a former city supervisor played by Josh Brolin who blamed them for his woes. This movie is about Milk's political and personal life leading up to those tragic events.
Director Gus Van Sant ("Good Will Hunting") created a moving and thought-provoking story through the first hour or so, but he lost momentum in the home stretch which is the kiss of death. I began looking at my watch and was ready for the ending which we all knew was coming.
Harvey Milk was the first openly gay elected official in California so his political rise and involvement in the early gay movement is historically significant and worthy of this movie. Van Sant's version of the 70's was nostalgic for me and the passion and pursuits by Milk were interesting but not very entertaining.
Early in the movie, Van Sant makes the decision to present an honest portrayal of a gay lifestyle by having Penn passionately kiss other men with brief sex scenes. I had high expectations for this movie and I was disappointed. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 79. Larry H.
Slumdog Millionaire
This is a great movie. Occasionally, there is magic in movie-making and Director Danny Boyle has hit that elusive jackpot. So, I guess that makes him the millionaire
Not to worry though because everyone associated with this movie will be a winner and part of their careers will always be linked to "Slumdog Millionaire."
The opening scene is in Mumbai, India, 2006, and a young man named Jamal Malik (Dev Patel) is on the Hindi TV version of "Who Wants to be A Millionaire". The stage, music, rules, and format are the same as the American version of the popular TV show. Jamal, however, is from the poor part of the country and is not expected to do well. No one believes a "slumdog" could possibly answer questions worth 20 million rupee that even "doctors and lawyers" can not answer. Is Jamal a cheater, a genius, or "is it written?"
Well, the police want to know how this lowly slumdog could answer so many questions correctly and they arrest him during a break in the show to determine the method of his obvious cheating. The "questioning" by the police involve beatings and electrical connections to his toes, but Jamal insists that he is not cheating.
While in the custody of the Mumbai police, Jamal slowly tells his life story, with excerpts of the TV show in the background, that begins as an orphan at a very early age and living with his brother, Salim, on the streets and surviving by their wits. In their attempt to stay alive, they encounter a young girl name Latika (played by Freida Pinto as an adult) who is beautiful and immediately wins the heart of young Jamal. And Jamal never stops loving her even though their lives are separated by tragedy and cruelty.
The story is this movie and Screenwriter Simon Beaufoy will be nominated. It is billed as a "Danny Boyle Film" and he is about to become a very famous, rich Brit. And nominated. Not Golden Globes; I don't care about the Globes. If it's not an Oscar, then it doesn't count.
Much of the movie is seen through the escapades of young Jamal and Salim while they are less than 12 years old; the child actors were superb.
The music, sound, and editing are masterful; especially the editing. The movie never stops beginning and taking the audience on a frightful and exciting adventure that evokes fear, suspense, anxiety, and deep empathy for the characters. There is much about righteousness, redemption, death and defeat, but the greatest of these is love.
The undying love by an 18 year old man that is determined to save his beloved Latika and is willing to go on a TV game show in hopes that she will see him and somehow they will be together again. I'm getting emotional just thinking about this movie. I want to see it again soon which is the ultimate compliment. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 93. Larry H.
Australia
This is a big flick which is why it has been called an "epic." We need epic movies occasionally just to remind Hollywood that all movies do not have to follow the formula and wrap up in under two hours. "Australia" is 15 minutes shy of three hours.
Lady Sarah Ashley (Nicole Kidman) travels from England to Australia in 1939 to claim the land left by her recently-murdered husband. Of course, she is a proper lady like Maureen O'Hara and knows nothing of the wild and woolly ways of the Outback, but she has Drover (Hugh Jackman) the big, strong John Wayne type to help save her station (ranch for us Texans) and sell the cattle to the military.
This Australia has plenty of men who like to say "let's have a go of it" and call each other "mate" while talking about the "pretty Sheila's." And one of my favorite lines by Drover: "nobody hires me and nobody fires me" lest someone think he is not an independent sort that only cares about living on the land and driving cattle. Until he meets Ms.Sarah.
Lady Sarah wins the hearts of the locals and the Aboriginals who "...from that point on we called her 'Mrs. Boss.'" Mrs. Boss has spunk and is willing to fight the evil land baron who steels cattle and is "the authority" in the North Territory where Mrs. Boss is trying to have a go of it with her Faraway Downs.
Mrs. Boss is also very tall and Director Baz Luhrmann never lets her wear any costume that does not appropriately accent her curves and swagger. Kidman will relish the memory of her figure in this movie.
A major aspect of the story is the prejudice and scorn of the people of mixed race that are a product of the white Australians and the Aboriginals who are black. A young boy named Nullah (Brandon Walters) whose mother is black grew up on Faraway Downs and is the grandson of a mystical figure referred to as King George.
My friend Robert B. claims that Nullah "stole the show" and I must agree that his charm and personality kept the story alive; he also was a narrator. The bonding love between Mrs. Boss, Drover and Nullah brought tears to my eyes and caused goose bumps more than once.
This show is not too long. Heck, the best is the last hour. This is not a perfect movie and is actually a little rough and edit-challenged at times, but it is entertaining with just the right amount of sweetness and savagery and I liked all the characters. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 89. Larry H.
Twilight
This is the greatest film ever made about vampires and teen love. I knew that my teenage niece Elizabeth B. had read the novels by Stephenie Meyer but I figured they were just another love story for young teenage girls and certainly would not interest a man of my maturity.
Being the adventurous movie guy that I am, I took a chance on this one and was pleasantly surprised; it is shockingly good. The plot is the old story of forbidden love, but a sixteen year old high school junior named Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) living with her Chief of Police dad in Forks, Washington isn't exactly the setting of epic greatness even if she falls madly in love with a seemingly young, handsome vampire named Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson).
Perhaps you remember Pattinson playing the Hogwarts Tri-wizard Champion in the Harry Potter movies and he was also the romantic rival of Harry for the attention of Cho Chang, Harry's first crush. So, Pattinson knows about playing a pretty boy going for the cute teenage girl.
The movie is superbly directed by Catherine Hardwicke and delicately transferred from being a popular novel to the big screen by screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg. It is worth noting that most of the creative and production talent involved in the making of this movie is female. Takes one to know one; a willing-to-die-for love that will conquer all.
Stewart and Pattinson electrify the screen with their glances and passion coupled with just the right amount of vulnerability and beauty. Pattinson's strikingly good looks and memorable eyebrows did not detract from his flawless portrayal of a confused and kind vampire just trying to do the right thing. But what is the right thing? Do you bite the neck of the one you love or do you fight your vampire instincts so your true love can remain a mortal even though her smell is "intoxicating."
Edward Cullen explains to Bella that he has a "special appetite" and that he "never eats or sleeps" yet she falls for him anyway. Perhaps he wins her over with his super-hero strength and quickness or is it that he is the one person that understands her dysfunctional life?
Or is that he has really pale skin and never goes out in the sunlight. Why you'd think he was a vampire? And then again it might be as simple as love at first bite...er, I mean first sight.
If you are open to a tender love story and the best baseball game ever played by a team of vampires, then you, too, should give this soon-to-be blockbuster a chance. I can hardly wait for a sequel and mark my words there will be more movies and Elizabeth B. and I will be happy. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 91. Larry H.
Quantum of Solace
I knew I was in trouble when I started getting bored after only three minutes. The opening chase scene with guns and leaping to and from tall buildings and killing bad guys was ok and then it got real slow.
This Bond movie is a Quantum of Crap. I've been a Bond fan since I was a freshman in high school and I've seen them all and I'll see them in the future, but this Bond's a Bust!
Let's do it by the numbers:
0 - characters I liked
0 - hot chicks worthy of Ms. Galore
0 - cool guns; I'm tired of his pea-shooter Walther PPK; a man needs at least a 9MM and his style of gun should be a 1911 if he's going into the field. A PPK is ok if you're shooting bad guys in a bedroom or even a ballroom, but please don't take that sissy gun into the field.
106 - number of painful minutes I sat through this pitiful excuse for a Bond movie
Daniel Craig returns as 007 secret Agent James Bond and he's sad because his lover is dead and so he wants some revenge. I get that, but mix in a little fun, Dude. This Bond was too morose, melancholy, and mean.
Judith Dench returns as M and she's actually a bright spot of the movie. How she managed to make her character interesting in this Bond Bomb is beyond me; maybe she's a great actress. Hmmmmm?
The cars weren't even cool but please note I think I spotted the new Toyota iQ that is scheduled to debut in Europe in January 2009. When your cars and guns are not cool and your women are not hot, Houston, we have a problem. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69. Larry H.
Changeling
I have just returned from seeing "Changeling," directed and produced by Clint Eastwood, and I am emotionally drained and not sure if I can finish this piece without taking a nap. Movie watching can be very tiring.
Steven Spielberg says that a great movie "...never stops beginning" and Larry H. says a great Clint Eastwood movie occurs when "...Clint has me emotionally unraveled and on the floor and he won't take his foot off my neck." I was distraught the entire movie which lasts slightly over two hours and twenty minutes.
I knew I was in for a long ride when my heart was skipping beats and we had only covered 15 minutes. Other clues of my distress were: shifting in seat repeatedly, hands sweating and twitching, crossing and uncrossing legs, looking around audience to see if anyone else was also gasping for air, and my favorite - unable to eat popcorn at a regular pace.
Screenwriter J. Michael Stracynski has taken a true story of the disappearance of nine year old boy on March 10, 1928, in Los Angeles and turned that tragedy into a masterful script. And Clint took it and ran with it.
And the mother of the boy is Angelina "Big Lips" Jolie whose performance is so riveting that I will forever remember her character's name: Christine Collins. When this single mom reports her son's disappearance, the LA Police Department bungles the search and then in an attempt to make it go away delivers to her another nine year old boy that is not her son.
Momma Collins has the audacity to protest and the LAPD ratchet up their resistance and strong-arm tactics and has her thrown into the local mental hospital based on a cop's affidavit.
Jolie's character suffers terrifying and sad injustices while grieving the tragic loss of her son but never giving up the search. She is aided in her fight by Rev. Gustav Briegleb (John Maldovich), a Presbyterian preacher who is convinced that the LAPD is corrupt, and my hero: a civil lawyer who takes her case pro bono.
The good cop, Detective Lester Ybarra, is played artfully by Michael Kelly, a dead-ringer for a young Steve Martin with dark hair. When you see this film, let me know if you agree with me about Kelly.
I was not familiar with the word "Changeling" so I looked it up on Wikipedia which I think we can all agree is the last authority on such things and found that the word comes from Western European folklore and "... the parents of a changeling child will have no choice but to take back their baby and leave the real baby behind."
I don't know if that Wiki definition is an exact match and please understand that I have not revealed much of the story, but suffice it to say that this moviegoer is a parent of a son that was overwhelmed with sadness and despair in large part due to the superb acting of Jolie and Directing of Clint. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 93. Larry H.
The Secret Life of Bees
I had tried to see "What Just Happened" starring Bobby D. or "Changeling" starring Big Lips Jolie, but neither show would accommodate my Friday afternoon schedule. So, I perused the newspaper for an alternative flick when I remembered that my friend Bill A. had raved about "The Secret Life of Bees."
I had not heard much about this movie so I was a little hesitant, but Bill A. is a devoted moviegoer so I decided to give it a chanceling.
The movie is set in 1964 South Carolina when 14 year old Lily Owen (Dakota Fanning) leaves her family's peach farm with her "colored" friend Roseleen (Jennifer Hudson) for a better life and to escape Daddy T-Ray Owens (Paul Bettany). Lily's mother had died tragically when she was four years old and that loss had ripped a big hole in Lily's heart.
The setting of 1964 and the beginning of the post Civil Rights Bill signed by President Johnson is a significant backdrop for this period piece. But don't be fooled by the numerous scenes of racial hatred and discrimination, this movie is universally heartwarming and tender.
I repeatedly got goose bumps and so will you. If you don't see this movie at the walk-in theatre then you will see it after you rent it at Blockbuster or order it on Netflix, but you are going to see it. The word on this jewel is going to get out and I'm going to help spread the word. This is an glorious movie and is my early favorite for Best Picture of 2008.
I'm not saying it will win Best Picture, but I'm laying odds that it will be nominated. The rest of this wonderful cast is played by Queen Latifah as August Boatwright, Alicia Keys as June Boatwright, and Sophie Okonedo as May Boatwright.
This group of actors is sheer magic on the screen and has already won the Best Ensemble award from the Hollywood Film Festival. I know this sounds like just another Oscar-lite award, but they won "ensemble" because the judges could not decide which of these great actresses deserved the individual awards so they just said "ah, what the heck, let's just give 'em the ensemble award and that will take care of the whole bunch of 'em."
This could be the year Queen Latifah gets hers due and maybe young Dakota might win the big one, too.
This is a chick flick in that it is about five very strong women and is all about love, but Co-writer/Director Gina Prince-Bythewood has made her mark with this superb film and a ton of money (eventually) for Executive Producer Jada Pinkett Smith.
The young girl, Lily, was fourteen in 1964 and so was I. As the story develops we learn that Lily was born in July 1950; so was I. I recognized the cars, sets, and prejudice of the South. I even know a little about bees, but as Ms. August explains to Lily "...the bees live a complicated life." And of course, Ms. August was talking about us and the mysteries of the human experience. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 94. Larry H.
Pride and Glory
This movie is outstandingly violent. At the one hour mark of this 129-minute film, I was so disgusted with the blood, guts, and hatred that I was ready to walk. I decided to postpone my decision to leave until I gave director Gavin O'Connor one more scene.
And then it dawned on me that if I was that emotionally distraught, what in the world could possibly be in store in the next hour. That "next scene" was off-the-charts violent and bloody but I decided to hang in there.
"Pride and Glory" is the classic good cop/bad copy starring Edward Norton and Colin Farrell as brothers-in-law. The setting is present-day New York and the good ole NYPD have not taken a hit on their image like this since "Serpico."
I'm not going to tell you which of these big hunky stars is the good cop and which is the bad cop. Oh ok, I'll give you a hint: Ed Norton is not the bad cop but he has a glaringly obvious two inch scar on his left cheek. And Colin Farrell dishes out some brutality that made me wince.
The story centers on a family of Irish-Catholic cops with Jon Voight as the patriarch. The names of the players are Jimmy, Francis, and Raymond; can't get much more Irish; oh yeah I forgot that Francis was called "Frannie."
Director O'Connor (don't ask me where he got the dramatic guts to make a movie about Irish NYPD cops) began this saga with pronounced intensity and emotional upheaval and never let up. If the use of the "F" bomb is any indication of intensity, then this flick gets high marks for intensity.
This movie is not for everyone; heck it's not for most. I enjoyed it out of respect for the professionalism of the product and the superb acting, but I don't care if I ever see it again. All of the characters were flawed badly without ample chance of timely redemption which resulted in only slight caring on my part.
However, I think it would have been great fun to be a part of the decision-making process of which of the two stars would be the good and bad cop. Norton and Farrell are at the top of their games and either could have withstood the challenge of corruption and courage. I'm not sure Director O'Connor made the right choice.
Now that would be interesting: let's re-make this movie and allow Norton and Farrell to switch parts. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 89. Larry H.
Appaloosa
Ed Harris and Viggo Mortensen team up again for a winner; remember "A History of Violence" (2005) when Viggo was a former mobster hiding out in a small town and Ed Harris showed up with a scarred face to extract some revenge? Evidently Ed Harris remembered that film because he directed "Appaloosa" and hired his old buddy to partner with him in this throwback Western.
It's an authentic Western in the same sense as Clint Eastwood's "Unforgiven" (1992). Even has a meaningful outhouse scene; don't see that caliber of authenticity very often. One can also tell if a Western is trying to be true to the times by paying close attention to the guns and the distinct sounds made by a Colt .45, Winchester 30-30 and shotgun.
In this movie, Everett Hitch (Mortensen) carries an 8 gauge shotgun and he ain't scared to shoot a bad guy at close range if needed. An 8 gauge shotgun is so big that it made Mortensen looked like he was carrying a pipe with some wood on the end of it. I don't think I've ever seen an 8 gauge shotgun; one of my crazy cousins use to hunt geese with a 10 gauge, but that's as close as I've ever come to a 8 gauge until this movie.
Virgil Cole (Harris) and Everett Hitch are hired lawmen circa 1882 to "clean up" a town that is terrorized by a rancher (Jeremy Irons) who killed the City Marshall before our heroes come to town. And our heroes are veterans of the Civil War and other "peace making" adventures while wearing a badge.
Once they get the badge pinned on their chest, they are the law. The good and bad guys either follow the rules of Virgil Cole and his shotgun-carrying sidekick or they get their butt kicked or killed; don't make no difference.
Every good Western has to have a Miss Kitty with a narrow waist and fancy clothes with an eye for the men and the ability to drink a little whiskey and in this movie she looks just like Renee Zellweger. Ok, it is Zellweger and she is the perfect little sassy lass who has learned to survive in the badlands of the U.S. Territories by doing what she has to do to get a new house and hold onto a man because she's "gets lonely."
The new City Marshall (Cole) is sweet on her even though Zellweger's character sometimes gets her loyalties confused. However, the theatrical balance between Ed Harris, Jeremy Irons, Viggo, and Renee is perfectly juggled and harnessed by Director and Co-writer Ed Harris. And the acting is outstanding.
I've always been a big admirer of the actor Ed Harris but did not know he was a big-time director and writer. I guess that makes him the new Clint Eastwood.
If you like a Westerns and find yourself complaining that they "just don't make any good Westerns anymore," then stop complaining and go see this very well-done movie. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 91. Larry H.
Eagle Eye
This is for the few of you that have not already seen this blockbuster. It came out September 26th and was tops at the box-office last week and I suspect that it will continue to be number one. This is one heck of a big-budget action film.
But I have not always thought that. I was a week late seeing this flick so I had preferred to see one of the movies that came out October 3rd, but Monique H. had different ideas. Sometimes she is a smart lady.
It was a slow, hot Saturday afternoon and she said it was time to eat lunch (we had already had a typical late breakfast) and she thought we should eat before we went to the movies. I told her that eating was not a problem and that we could get some popcorn with butter and salt and Mr. Pibb which covers all four of the food groups.
Then she said that she was "real hungry" and being the caring, loving husband that I am, I said "not a problem" again: "We can get some Milk Duds, too." And now I was confident that we had all the food groups covered. She's a good sport and has a fine digestive system which is important when picking a mate.
I liked this movie from the opening scene and was glued to the screen almost nonstop. At one point during one of the long, spectacular car chase scenes, I found myself putting my hands under my chin for emotional support and then took some deep breaths when the sequence ended and Director D. J. Caruso gave us a break in the action. A short break.
Shia LaBeouf and Michelle Monaghan star as strangers thrown together in a weird twist of events dictated by an unfamiliar female voice on their respective cell phones which led them on dangerous missions under threat of death or harm to family members. The audience is not expected to know exactly why or how these seemingly unconnected events are relevant so I can not share with you at this time. It's a decent mystery and a fun ride.
Props to Billy Bob Thornton who continues to impress me with his ability to bring a vast array of believable characters to the big screen and he did it again in this movie as a relentless FBI agent. Who would think that crazy 'ole Billy Bob would be such an accomplished actor; I have come to believe that he's one of the best.
This movie would make even more money if the economy wasn't so scary, but I predict that it will top 100 million because it's just a darn good flick.
Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
Righteous Kill
I saw "Righteous Kill" after I had my power back at my house so I had a better attitude for this movie than I did for "Burn After Reading."
And who can turn down a flick starring Robert "You Talking to Me?" De Niro and Al "Godfather 3X" Pacino? Not me, certainly, so I suited up and showed up. I grew up with these boys; De Niro is 65 and Pacino is 68. Ouch. Not that there's anything wrong with their ages, but if I grew up with them what age does that make me? I am not on social security.
This is not a particularly special movie other than the stars are two of the giants of the industry, but they play New York police detectives named Turk and Rooster and waltz around their precinct acting like they are big, bad veteran cops trying to solve a serial murder and they look like De Niro and Pacino with much deeper facial lines than they had in the 70's.
These two boys have not had plastic surgery and they have inspired me to keep the mug I have. If they can grow old gracefully, then so can Larry H.
This movie reminds me of "No Way Out" starring Kevin Costner who was a young naval officer working in the pentagon at a time when Washington D.C. was fixated on finding what they believed to be a Russian spy named Ivan. That plot had a lot of misdirection and confusing video that kept the viewer off balance. I really like "No Way Out" and watched it again recently.
But this movie is no "No Way Out" but it has a thought-provoking, clever ending and De Niro and Pacino can still cut it. I give the slight edge in this film to Pacino, but for this movie only. Anyone that criticizes Bobby De Niro (his friends call him Bobby) is blaspheming and I don't blaspheme.
I was happy for De Niro because he has multiple love scenes with a young female CSI-type cop named Karen Corelli played by Carla Guigino and she is a certified American fox and only 37. I thought it was a bit of a stretch for De Niro, but that's one of the reasons he's such a great actor, and the director mercifully used only the most tactful camera angles so as not to overly expose Bobby's 65 year old body. Way to go, Bobby!
One of the tough drug-dealer characters was artfully performed by 50 Cent; that dude sure gets around. And John "ER" Leguizamo turns in a good performance as Detective Simon Perez; I'm a big fan of Leguizamo.
For a post hurricane movie, this is not bad and the Glock pistols are sweet.
Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 88. Larry H.
Burn After Reading
Call it the After-Ike-Blues but I just couldn't get into this Coen Brother's movie. I should have seen this flick on September 12th, but Ike got in my way, and before I knew it I had no power at home, office, and at the University of Houston Victoria at the Sugar Land campus where I teach part-time.
Monique H. and I had enough of the heat so we "evacuated" to Austin which was fun kind-of sort-of, but we came back to Sugar Land and a house with no electricity which is like camping out in a big tent. We were so busy in Austin coping with email and cell phone calls that I once again was unable to see "Burn After Reading."
By Thursday night things had settled down enough that we managed a trip to First Colony AMC and the air-conditioning was very nice and so was the popcorn and Mr. Pibb.
This is a quirky, funny, bizarre story by Joel and Ethan Cohen with, as they say, an all-star cast: George Clooney, Frances McDormand, Brad Pitt, John Malkovich, Tilda Swinton, and Richard Jenkins. Footnote: Jenkins is my current frontrunner for Best Actor in his role in "The Visitor."
McDormand and Pitt are frumpy employees for a Washington D.C. gym called "Hard Bodies" and they come into possession of a CD left in the ladies locker room and think it is valuable because it has a C.I.A. connection. They concoct a brilliant plan to attempt to get a "reward" for finding the CD to help pay for the McDormnad character's plastic surgeries.
The CD is actually the memoir of the recently-fired CIA analyst Osborne Cox (Malkovich) who is not too keen on paying for its return. Meanwhile, Clooney is an official with the Treasury Department and "carries a gun" to impress the ladies. He's having 3-5 affairs; not sure because one needs a program to keep up with his shenanigans. And I didn't care.
The plot is silly and overly complicated and not near as funny as it should have been. I know I had a 'tude when I showed up at the ticket counter but I rate this movie as Burn Before Going. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 75. Larry H.
"Ike 2 Larry H. 0" "Burn Before Reading" and "Righteous Kill"
My Friday afternoon plans have been in place for a long time. I was full of expectation and excitement because two big movies were coming out September 12th: "Burn Before Reading" by the Coen Brothers with a star-studded cast including George Clooney and Brad Pitt and "Righteous Kill" starring DeNiro and Pacino as cope with a gun and an attitude.
And then along came Ike. So, I am sitting at home watching TV and taking inventory of batteries, food, and water. It's a little before noon on Friday and everyone is "hunkering down" for the hurricane that has everyone's attention. Monique H. and I have made all of our preparations and have a plan. We are "sheltering in place" at our place.
Our "safe place" is the small guest powder room on the first floor that has no windows. I just told her to remember that if there's trouble that "I'll meet in the little bathroom." That's a little ominous but needed to be discussed. Better safe than sorry.
Monique H. and I are both from Bay City, TX, and were young children in 1961, when Hurricane Carla a Cat 5, made landfall near Port Lavaca. Forty seven years ago today. We were on the dirty side of a Cat 5 cane! For years we have swapped Carla stories and the three days of "hunkering down" before I knew what hunkering down meant.
We lived in Meadows Place in 1983 when Alicia hit. We know the exact location of the eye of that cane because Vernon H. was living in the Westwood area near the Southwest Freeway and claims the eye passed over his apartment. "I ain't scared on no 'cane."
We went out earlier today to get a little more bottled water and found a nice supply at Walgreens. While we were out, I took some photos of the beautiful tree-lined streets in the neighborhood with the intention of comparing those scenes with the expected aftermath.
"I ain't scared on no 'cane." That is one of my favorite refrains when I'm trying to impress Monique H. with my bravery and assurances that all will be fine and that I will take her. She likes it when I talk like that.
"I ain't scared of no 'cane" when the cane is heading to Louisiana or Florida and when the cane is 300 miles out in the Gulf of Mexico. And my home is not in the Cone of Uncertainity. As I sit here this morning less than twelve hours before landfall and watch the water crashing over the Galveston seawall, I ain't so sure that I ain't scared of no cane. Rock 'n Roll.
Estimated Grades:
"Burn Before Reading" - 89
"Righteous Kill" - 86 Larry H.
Traitor
A friend of mine told me that NBC's Gene Shalit said that this film was good. Now I know how you people feel when I tell you a movie is good and you go see it and don't like. I've been a fan of Gene Shalit's for a long time. I want to be Gene Shalit when I grow up and spit out those little witticism sprinkled with alliterations. He's my movie critic hero, but if he liked this movie then his mustache is too tight.
So, I guess he's become a talented terroristic traitor by telling tall tales on the "Today" show. Whew, that made me tired; try saying that three times.
Don Cheadle stars as Samir the mysterious man of international intrigue that may or may not be a terrorist who may or may not be working for the USA or the bad guys of Yemen and/or surrounding militant areas.
Cheadle's acting was skilled but strained. He portrayed a very sad, bitter, dark character that was struggling to find his place in a crazy world. And obviously he was full of emotional baggage that started at age 12 when young Samir witnessed the death of his father who died in a car bombing in Sudan 30 years earlier.
While Cheadle proved he can act and bring forth a wide variety of aspects of his very complicate character, he was unfortunately uninteresting. I didn't care if he worked for Osama bin Laden and strapped a bomb around his waist and blew himself up real good. I didn't like Cheadle's Samir the double/triple agent so I didn't care if lived or died.
Samir's handler Carter (Jeff Daniels) was completely without depth and I couldn't help but think about Daniels in "Dumb and Dumber". That's not good. The proverbial young FBI agent was played by Guy Pearce and he was almost interesting but he, too, seemed like he was just going through the motions of trying to track down a gang of big-plan terrorists that would be a challenge to "24's" Jack Bauer.
That's an impossibility and I apologize to all my "24" friends as we all know that there is no challenge too big for Jack. Jack Bauer for President
- right on!
Perhaps my biggest disappointment came when I realized for the first time while watching the credits roll that my real hero, Steve Martin, was one of the writers. I love Steve Martin almost as much as I love myself; we grew up together in the 70's. But the story was a major part of the problem with this flick.
Here's the moral of this story: the Coen Brothers blew it because the Labor Day Weekend would have been a much better day for the opening of "Burn After Reading" starring George and Brad rather than wait until September 12th. Enough terror talk today. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 73. Larry H.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
"Two girlfriends on a summer holiday in Spain become enamored with the same painter, unaware that his ex-wife, with whom he has a tempestuous relationship, is about to re-enter the picture."
The above sentence is in quotes because I lifted it from the internet. I did not have enough energy to regurgitate this simple, forbidden love
plot. I'm writing these words within 30 minutes of leaving AMC Theatre #19 and I'm still weak with boredom. I'm at my office typing away, but I'm in a hurry as I fear I might go to sleep before I can make it home to start my weekend.
As I was walking in the parking lot toward the big AMC complex in First Colony Sugar Land, I was reviewing why I had chosen this particular movie.
To see Academy Award winner Javier Bardem, one of my new favorite actors who played the part of Anton Chigurh in "No Country for Old Men." - check. To see several beautiful actresses but namely Penelope Cruz - check.
To see another Woody Allen movie - no check. I don't like Woody Allen. I never liked Woody Allen; I didn't like "Annie Hall" (1977) and everybody liked "Annie Hall." I didn't like "Annie Hall" then I don't like Woody Allen now.
Why do I do it to myself? To serve others! I go to these lousy movies to protect the less fortunate and uninitiated. Even though this movie has a mild touch of "chick flickism" even the chicks will not like this movie.
Unless you like Woody Allen movies, then you might like it. But I don't like Woody Allen and since he wrote and directed this twisted, sad love story set in the romantic surrounds of Spain, it's still Woody Allen the neurotic New Yorker showing the rest of us how he's got life and love figured out and is selling his wares yet again to a sucker American audience.
The three beautiful actresses chosen by Woody Allen... (I like saying his whole name each time as it makes disliking him more palatable because you know I don't want to dislike him before I've even seen his movie, but dat gummit, I don't like the guy...Woody Allen.
I'm sorry I lost my head for a moment and could not control my disdain for Woody Allen and forgot what I was thinking. Ah, to heck with it. I give up. I can't write anymore; I'm just too tired. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69. Larry H.
PS: at least I didn't walk out... I did it for you people.
Pineapple Express
This is the ultimate stoner movie. Seth Rogen plays Dale Denton, a process server, who smokes "10 doobies before lunch" and at age 25 finds that he is comfortable dating an eighteen year old high school girl. Problem: Dale witnesses a murder by a policewoman and a big-time upstream pusher.
Dale is on a stake-out at the time of his witnessing the murder and darn the luck he is smoking an exotic brand of marijuana called Pineapple Express.
Dale does what any red blooded stoner would do after witnesses a hit, throw the roach out the window and get the heck out of Dodge.
Double bad luck, the pusher-murderer immediately finds what's left of the marijuana cigarette in the street, takes a quick puff, and instantly identifies the weed as Pineapple Express.
Dale is now scared that the murderers will be able to identify him so he does the next right thing and makes a beeline to his pusher (James Franco) for advice. Now there's a good plan.
This story sounds kind of funny but it's not. This movie blows. Did I just make a funny?
These two nitwits smoke more marijuana than Cheech and Chong. I almost laughed once. I thought I heard a slight chuckle out of the several other losers that were in the theatre with me.
But I'm not a loser; I walked out after about 30 minutes. I'd finished my popcorn and Mr. Pibb so I was good to go and I went.
Ok, I am a loser for even going to this pitiful excuse for a movie. Let's just keep this our little secret that I bought a ticket and please don't tell Monique H. since she suggested I see Pants 2, but noooooo, I had to see this High Times of Seth Rogen's Bogus Journey. Rock 'n roll.
Grade 65W. Larry H.
Swing Vote
My schedule became discombobulated and I did not have the opportunity to go to the movies at my anointed time of Friday afternoon. Going Sunday afternoon wasn't so bad. I'd like to tell you that I was just too busy doing really important stuff on Friday and could not get away, but the truth is that I was preparing to go to my 40th High School reunion in Bay City, Texas.
Preparation for the reunion included fretting about how I was going to dress and act cool. Then it dawned on me that most of my classmates had known me since I was six years old and they had my number then and they'd have it now. So, I wore my usual costume and went as myself. Had a great time.
"Swing Vote" is this election year's version of how crazy presidential politics can be. Kevin Costner stars as Bud Johnson, a beer drinking goofball, who through a Hollywood twist of fate becomes the one vote that will decide the US Presidential election in his home of Texico, New Mexico.
That whacky Electoral College raises its ugly head again.
Now who would believe that a presidential election in these United States could possibly involve voter irregularities, legal maneuvering, and delayed results while the nation watched the madness unfold on TV? Oh yeah, there was that little event in Florida in the 2000 presidential election.
Costner's Bud Johnson is thrown into the national limelight while both presidential candidates (Kelsey Grammar and Dennis Hopper) launch massive TV and personal campaigns to convince ole Bud to vote for them. Meanwhile, Bud and his precocious twelve year old daughter Molly (Madeline Carroll) are caught up in the 10-day assault of the national media camped outside the run-down trailer owned by the unemployed Bud.
Bud cusses a lot and has the social grace of a redneck doofus, but he is loveable with a sweet smile and nice set of shirts with the sleeves cut off at the shoulder and a fishing cap to match. The first half of the movie was charming and funny and the character development was wonderful. I was liking all the characters played by Nathan Lane, Stanley Tucci, George Lopez, Judge Reinhold, and the very beautiful Paula Patton.
And then for some unknown theatrical reason, the movie took a strange left turn and got all emotional and moralistic and lost its humor and energy. At one point, the music of violins, clarinets, and flutes was so peculiar that I looked at my watch and realized I had 35 minutes until the end of the movie. Uh oh; bad sign. Looking at one's watch during a movie is the kiss of death.
It's rare for a movie to have a beginning that is fun and interesting and then twist off and become slow and boring, but Director Joshua Michael Stern accomplished this feat in spite of the difficultly. I'd wait for the DVD on this one as it will be at Blockbuster and Netflix soon. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 84. Larry H.
"Mamma Mia" Alert: there will be a new chick flick coming out Wednesday August 6th so be sure to call/text the members of your pack to make plans to see "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2." Darn, I missed Pants 1 so I'll guess I'll have to pass on Pants 2. Have fun at the movies and eat some popcorn for me.
Step Brothers
I saw this flick at AMC Loew's at The Fountains with about eight other brave, simple souls. The movie is rate "R" for raunchy and retarded. These step brothers were rated "S" for silly and suck. And "D" for dumb, dumber, and dumbledore.
Will Ferrell co-wrote and produced this latest adventure with his "Talladega Nights" buddy John C. Reilly. Their names and ages respectively in this pitiful story are Brennan Huff (39) and Dale Doback (40). Both of these funnymen still live at home with their single parents who get married and allow the "boys" to move in with the newlywed parents to form a new blended family. Brennan and Dale share a room and fight and act like teenage boys - very young teenage boys.
The humor in this flick is strictly bathroom humor; not true. Bathroom humor is what this movie wants to be when it grows up. The language and plot are both four letter words: BADD.
I admit laughing at times and, ok, I laughed big-time occasionally but that's because I've never fully matured and male teenage humor still appeals to me sometime. But not for a full 95 minutes. Now there's some good news. This movie is only a little over an hour and half long
If you go see this movie, you are a loser, your family is a loser and so are your neighbors. Not even Will and John C. can carry this sorry excuse for a movie. I'd rather go see "Mamma Mia" a second time than see "Step Brothers" again. Did I just say that?
I might have to get back into therapy after this experience. Nah, therapy is too expensive. I'll just mock it here, and let it go. I love the movies and as God is my witness, I will not let "Step Brothers" take me down. Just kidding. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69. Larry H.
Mamma Mia!
This was my second movie of the day. Monique H. and I went to dinner early so we could catch the 6:30 show at AMC First Colony; it was packed. With women. This is the ultimate chick flick. If you want some brownie points, Boys, take your best girl to see Meryl Streep in Catherine Johnson's very famous and successful musical and act like you like it and good things will happen.
I sat quietly between two women while trying to appear happy and engaged when in fact I was toe-tapping, finger poppin' bored. I swear I tried to let my feminine side out, but nothing. The women were laughing and swaying with the music of ABBA's music of the 70's and when "Dance Queen" played multiple times, I thought they would get up and dance in their chairs.
The twenty year old Sophie is raised by her single mom Donna (Steep) and reads her mother's diary only to discover that her mother had three boyfriends the summer she became pregnant. Mom is not sure which of the three is the father so Sophie grows up not knowing who her father is.
Now it's time to get married and Sophie wants her father to walk her down the aisle so she secretly invites all three of them to the wedding to be held on mom's romantic Greek island.
The view of the ocean is breathtaking. See, I am sensitive and quite the romantic! All three of the would-be dads show up and let the romantic comedy begin.
The music, costumes, and choreography are well done and I was enamored with the talent of my girl Meryl, but it's basically a mushy, golly-gee love story aimed at women and it hit the target. Big winners are Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks who were the Executive Producers. They will make a ton of money because every woman in America will see this movie. If they can't get a man to go with them, they will travel in packs. I know, I saw it with my own eyes. It's very hot out there and most theatres are air conditioned so good luck. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 82. (Girls 92 Boys 72) Larry H.
The Dark Knight
This latest installment of Batman is the biggest and most spectacular with a safe prediction that it will be the biggest box office grossing film of all of the Batman films and maybe for all movies.
But let's start with the news you are most interested in. Did Heath Ledger's performance as the sinister Joker warrant an Academy Award? Absolutely, yes! He will win Best Supporting Actor for this performance as The Joker and with his performance in "Brokeback Mountain" will reach James Dean status.
We have lost a tremendous talent because of Ledger's sad and untimely death.
I could not help but have that recurrent thought during this movie while watching his incredible performance. I went to this movie with the intention of not falling in love with his acting and being overly swayed because of sympathy, but his performance as The Joker is so stunning and memorable that he will win fair and square.
The rest of the cast was solid and Director Christopher Nolan has made a very complicated movie with all the right bells and whistles. The crowd laughed and moaned in all the right places, but I was still a little disappointed.
I wanted to see a Best Movie nomination and I saw another pretty good summer blockbuster about another superhero. Don't get me wrong - the masses will enjoy this movie and the Batman freaks will ooh and aah and go into internet chat rooms so they can discuss the nuances of the characters and plot. But for me it was a little slow in places and did not meet my expectations.
Footnote: about an hour into the movie, a young man about three seats over from me, pulled out his cell phone and texted his sixth or seventh message and his cell phone had a very bright light and this was a dark movie. I'd had enough so I screwed up my courage and in my nicest yet authoritative voice utter these words in a stage whisper - "Dude, your cell phone is really bother me." He replied "... oh, sorry." After this exchange he continued to send and receive text messages but he attempted to hide his cell phone behind a popcorn bag and shield me from the blinding light. I considered that a victory.
This movie is worth the price of admission and young children should definitely not see this scary and disturbing movie. This is for adults only. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 89. Larry H.
Hellboy II
I'm having a hard time keeping up with all of these superhero movies, but I'm sure enjoying them. "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" is worthy of this year's long list of summer heroes with varying qualities of superpower and attitudes.
This superhero drinks beer, likes to smoke Cuban cigars, and has a very sarcastic sense of humor. Hellboy is very funny and l was laughing very loudly when others at Austin's Barton Creek Square AMC 14 were not. I was "that guy" laughing so loud that I could feel the stares of other members of the audience but I didn't care. I go to the movies to be entertained and with the price of popcorn being what it is because of the price of oil, I'll laugh if I want to.
I did not see "Hellboy One" and have never even read about him and don't know his pedigree. But since I've taken on the secret identity of Iron Man 2 aka IM2 (please see previous review of "Iron Man"), I feel compelled to check out the superhero competition and perhaps pick up a few earth-saving tips.
I think I would look good with red leather-like "skin" under my Iron Man suit. This Hellboy (Ron Perlman) looks like a contorted Ted Danson with sawed off horns and wild eyes with a playful attitude and a willingness to blast someone in the face with his giant fist or shoot them with his enormous revolver. 250 Caliber is my guess.
Hellboy is caught between the humans and the mythical world that are waging a rebellion to overtake the planet. These creatures are determined to rule the world so Hellboy and his team must save mankind. His team consists of his girlfriend Liz who bursts into flames when she gets emotional, aquatic empathy Abe, and protoplasmic mystic Johann Krauss.
Hellboy's team is part of the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense.
And many of the players back at the secret headquarters wear shirts and uniforms with BPRD proudly displayed. Now you know why I was laughing so hard. This movie is a riot!
"Hellboy II" is the imaginative product of the scrambled brain of Guillermo del Toro who wrote and directed this significant piece of fantasy that artfully blended the use of animation and actors through a clever plot, subtle witticisms, beautiful cinematography, and breath-taking set designs.
This is the same creativity that produced "Pans Labyrinth." I suspect that del Toro got into some bad acid in the late 70's and is still trying to come out of it.
Even though this was a memorable movie experience, and I'd see it again, the skimpy script sagged and stuttered and bored me at times only to have my head jerk wide awake with a big laugh or tender moment. I just couldn't get enough of "Red" as his friends call him so all the other stuff that del Toro put on the screen was just a distraction to me from the main event: Hellboy being a helluva boy. You need to see this character to fully appreciate his deserving spot in the pecking order of superheroes. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 87. Larry H.
HancockI just got back from watching Will Smith's latest July Fourth Weekend Blockbuster "Hancock" and I'm real pumped. It was big fun; I loved it!
Thanks, Will and Director Peter Berg. This movie is referred to as an Action Comedy, but I think "Summer Fun Movie" is more accurate.
The plot begins simple enough if you believe in superheroes and I certainly do. John Hancock played by Will Smith flies around LA saving people but there's a catch. This superhero arrives on the scene with a hangover and stinky clothes and the real kicker: a bad attitude.
Hancock is a curser so I'll try to clean it up. Hancock hates it when someone calls him an A-hole which happens often because he's a 24 carat jerk. But then he responds with violence or foul language. He not only tells people where they can go stick their head, he actually sticks it there for them. And I laughed and laughed at all of this silliness. And then I laughed some more.
Hancock feels isolated, misunderstood, and under appreciated for his fine work of saving people even though his heroics often result in millions of dollars of property damage because he doesn't really give a darn if collateral damage occurs.
Hence the drinking and surly attitude. From a superhero? Alas, it is true until he saves Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman) from being run over by a train. Ray is a PR guy with the personality of Greg Kinnear's character in "Little Miss Sunshine" who comes up with a plan to help Hancock improve his public image. Doggone it; people hate Hancock.
Ray lives in the suburbs of Los Angeles with his beautiful wife (Charlize Theron) and young son. They have Hancock over for spaghetti dinner, but Hancock is more interested in drinking whiskey from his ever-present bottle than having family time. And all of this happens in the first fifteen minutes.
The rest of the movie is fast-paced, interesting, suspenseful, and very well presented by Peter Berg. The acting by Smith, Theron, and Bateman is outstanding. The writing and editing flow perfectly and weave a spectacularly fun experience for the audience which audible commented on the movie more than once. We were engaged in this flick and we pulling for everyone involved.
Do yourself a favor; you've already heard about this movie and you've been meaning to go as soon as you get some free time. So go already. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 93. Larry H.
The HappeningWritten, directed, and produced by M. Night Shyamalan. As a reminder, here are a few of his jewels: "Signs" "Sixth Sense" "Lady in the Water" and "Playing with Anger".
M. Night ain't like the rest of us. His thinker works differently. They say he was not born last night but he was born Night.
In this Shyamalan tale, he's about a scene shy of a complete story. He's about a snippet this side of a full reel. He's a couple tickets short of a full house. He's missing a few Milk Duds.
I still think he's a brilliant writer and director but when I walked out of the movie and was just about back to my car, I realized that I had just been punk'd.
M. Night's story of a mysterious "something" that caused people to walk backwards, talk incoherently, and then commit suicide was too weird for me. And the story was unfair.
M. Night should have studied "The Birds" a little closer if he wanted to confront man versus nature. He needed to create realism and audience participation through methodically revealing meaningful hints if he wanted to tackle such big subjects or he should leave such lofty tasks to King Hitchcock.
I'm being a little hard on M. Night, but doggone it he didn't give me enough information to come close to deciphering his mystery on my terms. He was holding all the cards, but wouldn't show me any of his aces.
I followed his every move and bought into the terror and sadness of the plot, but I did not get the impression that he was playing fair. Just messin' with us. I don't need that when the heat index is 102.
I can't believe I'm say this, but I should have gone to see "The Love Guru."
Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 76. Larry H.
The Incredible HulkI saw this movie in Austin on Friday June the thirteenth and it was a lucky day for me. I was with Monique and Eric H. and we were running late and stumbled upon an unexpected theatre complex located just off I-35. We got to the theatre just in the nick of time.
It is known as Stadium 10 but I know it is not owned by AMC because they sold real Dr. Pepper; none of that generic Mr. Pibb crap.
As we all know, The Hulk has an anger management problem and turns green and nine feet tall when he goes ballistic. Problem for the Hulkster: he doesn't want to go green. So Going Green might be politically correct but it is counter-productive for the mild mannered Dr. Banner (Edward Norton) who just wants to live a normal life.
This movie starts up where the last Hulk ended, but it begins in South America and all the players are different. It is very well done and the three of us enjoyed it. Monique H. seemed particularly enamored with the story and even the action. She would give it a higher grade than I.
It was a good Father's Day weekend and "The Incredible Hulk" started things off right. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 88. Larry H.
Get SmartMel and Buck did a better job in '65, but they were not in charge this time.
My main man Steve "The Office" Carell starred as the bungling Maxwell Smart aka Agent 86 and was also one of the Executive Producers so it's his baby this time.
Agent 86 is once again partnered with the highly trained and better qualified Agent 99 played by the very hot Anne Hathaway. Have you ever noticed that Agent 99 is never referred to by any name other than "99?"
What is her real name? And why haven't I ever noticed that Anne Hathaway is a fox? I'm sweet on her now and I can't stop myself.
I give this movie high marks for a creative and seasoned cast: Alan Arkin is The Chief; Dwayne "don't call me The Rock anymore" Johnson is Agent 23; Bill Murray is Agent 13; Patrick "David Puddy" Warburton as Hymie; Masi "Heroes" Oka as Bruce, James "I'm still alive" Caan as the President and Larry Miller and Kevin Nealon as CIA Agents #1 and #2.
And oh yeah, there's David Koechner as Larabee who plays Todd Packer on Steve Carell's hit show "The Office." Carell does not forget who his friends are. I'm surprised that Jon Stewart didn't have a part as an Agent for KAOS.
So here's the plot: if you have to ask then this movie is not for you.
Maxey and Agent 99 who work for CONTROl must save the world/President from KAOS.
At times I laughed heartily. Might even say I guffawed, but for the most part this flick flickered and failed. I was profoundly disappointed because my expectations were so high.
I grew up watching the TV series and I just knew Steve Carell was going to be a great Maxwell Smart. Carell was ok and I really don't have a beef with his acting, but the script was disjointed and uninteresting. The music was cool so kudos to Trevor Rabin.
Missed by that far, Chief! Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 80. Larry H.
Kung Fu PandaI don't like animated movies as a general rule. I keep trying and obviously I still go to movies such as "Kung Fu Panda" hoping that it will be another "Shrek" and I will be redeemed. No such luck on this animation...not that there's anything wrong with that.
I love Jack Black and his voice as Po the Panda is very well done and Dustin Hoffman's Shifu was worthy. And then there's Michael Clarke "The Green Mile" Duncan whose voice is as big as he is while providing the voice of Commander Vachir. Angelina-Brad Jolie as Tigress - not so much.
The theatre was alive with a large group of kids under heavy adult supervision for what appeared to be an end-of-the-year school excursion. They laughed and giggled throughout the movie and enjoyed their experience thoroughly. We had Surround Sound laughter. That's cool
But old Scrooge Larry H. started looking at his watch about 45 minutes into this odyssey and realized that I had another 45 minutes to go and I just didn't think I could make it to the end. Then I started worrying that they might cut my pay in half if I walked out midway through the movie.
This movie will make a ton of money and probably DreamWorks Animation has the script finished for the sequel, and many of you will enjoy this flick with your kids. Taking a kid is essential so don't try it alone. I'm a semi-professional and I couldn't do it.
If you must know the plot, here it is: Po the lazy panda has always dreamed of becoming a kung fu warrior but he is a large overweight panda with issues. And you know the rest.
Here's some good news: the manager of Loew's again noticed that I was standing in line at the concession stand with mere mortals and she nodded to me to slip over to the side and she comped my popcorn and Mr. Pibb. Oh, the price of fame.
I apologize to all you animation lovers that are accusing me of cartoon snobbery, but I gots to do what I gots to do and what ya'll think don't make me no never-mind. I just love it when I'm a little bored and my country roots kick in. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade: NRW Larry H.
NRW means Not Rated Walked Out
The Visitor"The Visitor" starring Richard Jenkins! Oh boy... can't wait to see this one. Never heard of it? This movie is the ultimate sleeper and it will not put you to sleep.
I saw this movie on a Saturday morning because I had to work Friday afternoon (please don't tell anyone that I did that) and I didn't want to see "Sex in the City."
I'm not too familiar with Richard Jenkins. Ok, I'm not sure I could name one movie the 60 year old actor as ever been in. But I won't forget him now. His performance was magnificent and memorable.
Jenkins plays college professor Walter Vale who is a lonely widower forced by his dean to attend a conference in New York City. Walter returns to his old apartment in New York that he shared with his wife for years, but he has not been in the apartment for months. Upon arriving, he discovers a young couple has been living in his apartment through a bogus rental deal by the couple's friend.
Rather than put them on the street, Walter finds an untapped kindness and allows the interlopers to stay. Tarek is from Syria and Zainab is from Senegal; they are handsome, vibrant and illegal. Tarek has an infectious smile and plays the drums in a jazz band and teaches the fuddy-duddy Walter how to play the drums by "not thinking" but just playing.
The bond between the button down, bespectacled, balding college professor and the young man from Syria is the fabric of this story and the emotional centerpiece for a beautifully scripted movie by Thomas McCarthy who also directed.
McCarthy's tender and sometimes funny account of Walter, Tarek, Zainab, and Mouna (Tarek's mother) is soulful, sad, and poignant. The trip with Walter and Tarek loops through Central Park, jazz bars, and a treacherous detention center in Queens. Will the self absorbed and uninspired college professor step out of his box and do something unexpected and bold?
As is the case in any well-crafted movie, the cast was perfect. Each of the four main characters looked the way I wanted them to look which means their acting was dead-on. I liked and understood each of them.
Do I smell Oscar for this small budget, independent film? Jenkins is my early favorite for Best Actor without a doubt. Within five minutes, I was reminded of the nominated performance of Bill Murray in "Lost in Translation." One of the scenes of Walter Vale at the detention center will be shown as the highlight of Jenkins' career at the Academy Awards show the year he dies; it was a stunning performance. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 92. Larry H.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal SkullFun, fun, fun! I didn't want you to have to wait any longer because I know you Indy fans have waited almost 20 years for the next Indiana Jones movie and I don't think you will be disappointed. I had a blast.
This movie by Steven, George and Harrison is worthy of their legend. The three have re-united for what is probably the last hurrah for the Harrison Ford era of Professor Henry Jones, Jr. And they did themselves proud
This version has a spectacular beginning and a darn good finish and a lot of fun stuff in the middle. Never a dull moment. I was so pleased with the movie as I had heard mixed reviews and I wanted Indiana Jones to go out on top.
"Raiders of the Lost Ark" came out in 1981 which was the year I got married.
Monique H. and I have been big Indy fans and she was with me for this one.
We had dinner at Ninfa's and then a movie at Loew's and had ice cream at Marble Slab Creamery on the way home. I know how to show a girl a good time.
Harrison Ford plays this 60 something Indy like a guy that has slowed down a little, but still has some spunk and punch in his whip. The silly fight scenes, impossible truck/car crashes, and bazaar stunts are still part of the winning formula and I loved it.
The setting is 1957 during the height of the Cold War and the bad "guy" is Cate Blanchett with a Page Boy haircut and a Russian accent that is so campy and corny that it's...well its fun that's what it is. Her character is named Irina Spalko! Blanchett's role is not what we have come to expect of this award winning actress, but she nails her Spalko and has fun with it.
Have I mentioned that this movie is fun? Like a movie should be. Thank you Steven and George.
Karen Allen also stars but I can't tell you more than that. Indy has a young sidekick (Shia LaBeouf) who is a James Dean wannabe who carries a comb and a switchblade - how cool is that?
John Williams music is perfect, of course, leaving no doubt when the audience is suppose to be scared, happy, surprised, or nostalgic. And that distinctive Indy theme of ... well you know the tune so just hum it to yourself right now for old times sake.
When we came out of the theatre, there was kid behind us singing d-DA nuh! d-DA nuh! d-DAAAA nuh-d-da nuh! And then Monique H. and I were singing/humming it on the way home. And that's fun! Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 91. Larry H.
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince CaspianOur C. S. Lewis heroes are once again the Pevensie siblings - Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy who are pulled back into the land of Narnia. Their mission in their roles as Kings and Queens, at least when they are in Narnia, is to restore the young, handsome Prince Caspian (Ben Barnes) to his rightful place of power.
The bad guy is Caspian's Uncle, King Miraz, who now rules Narnia and the enemy of the special people and talking animals of Narnia. The Narnians are believed to be extinct but rise up to fight for restoration and a second chance.
Hundreds of years have passed in Narnia time even though our young Pevensie kids look about the same as they did in the first movie "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe." "The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian" was the second book published of the seven books in the series even though it is the fourth chronologically."
I enjoyed the opening scenes that quickly took us down memory lane when the Pevensies are whisked away from a London train station and arrive in the enchanting yet scary land of Narnia. I was excited and looking forward to an enjoyable Friday afternoon flick to ease me into my weekend.
I had already spent a mere $5.00 for a ticket at AMC Loew's and $11.25 for a small bag of popcorn, small Mr. Pibb, and Milk Duds. At least I was eating all four food groups which is pretty healthy in my book. Unfortunately, that was the highlight of my movie-watching experience.
This movie is beautifully made: the music is riveting, set design spectacular, and the special and visual effects were remarkable and the costumes ... please! But the script was disjointed and spent far too much time weaving a convoluted story to the detriment of character development. A cardinal sin.
I wasn't enthusiastically pulling for anyone in spite of the clear delineation of Good and Evil. Of all the characters and numerous epic battles, my favorite was the teenage Queen, Susan Pevensie (Anna Popplewell). She was a master with a bow and arrow and skillfully and bravely killed many of the human enemy all the while looking like a young Molly Ringwald with dark hair.
I admit that I like a good sword fight and talking animals that know the business end of a crossbow not to mention Aslan the Lion (Liam Neeson - voice). And you might like this movie, but Prince Larry was not impressed.
Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 79. Larry H.
Is It Memorial Day Yet?Dateline: Noon-Friday May 9, 2008
Times are hard at the movies these days. It happens every year. There's a big Oscar buzz at the first of the year and then we have the Academy Award ceremony.
We then complain that the awards program is way too long and boring, but we are very pleased that our favorite movie ("No Country for Old Men") was voted as Best Picture. Now that the Oscars have been handed out, we want more great movies.
What do we get? A long list of very mediocre flicks that Hollywood cranks out for release in the spring. Then Memorial Day brings out the "Summer Blockbusters." At least we hope so.
Meanwhile we are stuck in early May with the following jewels: "Speed Racer" - a silly movie for kids; "What Happens in Vegas" - a vehicle for sucking in the forlorn to watch hunky Ashton Kutcher and cutesy Cameron Diaz who play Jack and Joy. Need I say more?
And then there's "Made of Honor." What a crock! Dr. Mc Dreamy from "Grey's Anatomy" is the Maid of Honor for his best girl friend's wedding but in fact he's in love with her. Can't wait not to see that one!
I must admit that I really like Tina Fey, but please don't make me sit through "Baby Mama" - a movie about the hiring of Amy Poehler to be her surrogate mother. Here are some of the Plot Keywords: pregnancy, bubble gum, and toilet.
I acknowledge that Kumar is paying me the big bucks to go to the movies and then write insightful comments about my experience, but he is not paying me combat pay. I just can't make myself see this crap. Can I say "crap" in a family newspaper that claims to be "independent?" I guess we'll find out.
You know that I don't want to be a whiner baby and we all know that life has rough patches, but I'm sad that I might have to read a book or play outside in the heat.
But there's always hope. "Kung Fu Panda" will be released soon. Hang in there and we'll get back on track. It's too hot outside in the summer so we need an inside sport and luckily the local theatres are fully air conditioned. I promise that the Oscar-worthy movies are coming. Rock 'n Roll
Grade: None Larry H.
Iron ManAnother superhero from the Marvel Universe. I didn't know Iron Man before this movie. Might have heard of him but we were not buds...until now. Iron Man is a true superhero and this movie will be known in the future as the beginner movie before the scripts and special effects really got wild and crazy.
Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark/Iron Man probably was paid only a couple mill for this flick, but when this box-office bonanza hits the $200 million mark, then his agent can close the deal for 3-4 sequels and some serious jack.
Tony Stark inherited the very successful weapons business from his father who worked on the original atomic bomb. Since WWII, Stark Industries has been supplying the US and other countries with advance missiles making young Tony an international superstar in the military world.
This Tony Stark is no lightweight however; he graduated from M.I.T. at the age of 17 and has the cool of James Bond, the money and genius of Bill Gates, and guile of The Terminator. And his sexy assistant is Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) and his military running buddy is Colonel Jim Rhodes (Terrence Howard).
The movie begins with Tony in Afghanistan meeting with the US military when he is captured by terrorists. While he is a captive and held in a cave for three months and being forced to build the Jericho missile for the terrorists, he secretly builds an iron suit that ultimately allows him to escape his captors.
After his return to the US, he has a change of heart and an awakening that perhaps his weapons distribution business has it all wrong, and he now should help the world achieve peace in spite of Stark bombs being on both sides of most conflicts.
Being the genius that he is, he refines the "iron suit" that he used in Afghanistan, and on his own, develops a much more sophisticated collection of powerful weaponry as part of his alloy protective gear and he evolves into the Iron Man. Oh yeah, he can fly, too.
There is a bad guy that tries to stop him, but do you really think he has a chance against Iron Man?
I believe Iron Man exists and is fighting evil at this very moment. I love Iron Man. I want to join Iron Man. I want to be Iron Man.
If you have any decency, you too, will stop what you are doing and go see this movie and join us in the fight for Good over Evil. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
Shine a LightThe familiar name of this movie is "Shine a Light: The IMAX Experience." And you should see this spectacle on a giant IMAX screen if you are going to buy a ticket to this concert because this flick is really a close-up view of a live concert of Mick and the boys.
How close? I could see the wrinkles in Keith Richards face; no, they were more like crevices.
The four Rolling Stones are the Executive Producers and Martin Scorsese is the director. Wouldn't you love to be in that storyboard discussion!
Lest you've forgotten, the four reasons that The Rolling Stones are still considered the Greatest Rock and Roll band of all time are: Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Charlie Watts, and Ron Woods.
I experienced this movie while in Austin with Mrs. H. We paid $10 for a ticket at The Bob Bullock Texas State History Museum. If you can't afford $2500.00 for a front row ticket to a Stones concert and you want to see every detail of what's happening on stage, then save $2,490.00 and go to your local IMAX theatre.
This movie needed to be made and Scorsese was the man for the job, but I wanted much more behind-the-scenes action and old clips of a young Mick and Keith.
This is not a great movie in spite of the subject matter, but I was mesmerized by the energy and youthfulness of Mick and Keith because we all know they have been "rode hard and put up wet" for many years. But there they are - still making music and entertaining us like they were 25 while they look their age (both were born in 1943). At least they are alive.
Long Live The Stones! Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 83. Larry H.
Street KingsThis is painful. I'm back at my office sitting at the computer typing these comments and the Friday Opening-Day 1:00 PM showing of "Street Kings" in theatre #1 at AMC Loew's at the Fountains has not ended.
Now how can that be if I claim to have been there when the movie began?
This movie was dreadful, dumb, and depressing. Other than that, it was a pretty entertaining flick.
I choose movies for my Friday afternoon entertainment based upon scientific calculations - I look in the paper and scan the movies that are opening and then choose the one that I think I will like. I don't care about the hype.
Ok, I do care about the hype but I'm in it for me. And sometimes we make bad choices in life.
How do you screw up a movie starring Keanu Reeves, Forest "I'm an Academy Award Winner" Whitaker, Hugh "House" Laurie, Cedric the Entertainer, and Jay "I'm so cool I substitute host for Jim Rome's radio sports show "The Jungle"
Mohr?
It's not easy but Director Ayer should fall on his sword and apologize to the eight lonely men who attended this catastrophe with me. There were no women. My wife tells me that women are smarter than men.
This movie should be called "Street Thugs". Keanu Reeves plays LA Detective Tom Ludlow who has a drinking problem, kills suspects that need killing then adds throw-down guns at the scene, and only occasionally slaps handcuffed prisoners with a thick phonebook. These LA cops have the morals of the unit on the FX TV series "The Shield" led by Vic Mackey, but with less charm if that's possible.
When I give a movie a grade this low, it equates to "I want my money back"
but I would never stoop so low as to ask Manager Patricia for a refund for fear she would think I was a whiner-baby. But you get the point.
I suspect that this movie ends with a clever plot twist involving Whitaker and Laurie since they were paid the big bucks, but I didn't care. If you see this movie and want to email me your thoughts about the ending, give it your best shot. But just remember that I will be mocking you for being a sucker. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69W. Larry H.
LeatherheadsGeorge Clooney's "Leatherheads" which he directs himself, Renee Zellweger, and John "The Office" Krasinski in a light-hearted romantic comedy is set in 1925. An over-the-hill wannabe pro football player, Jimmy "Dodge" Connelly (Clooney) is trying to get a struggling team from Duluth, Minnesota, off the ground and out of the red.
Pro football in the Roaring 20's was not the NFL of today and the Duluth Bulldogs needed a marquee player so they recruited Carter "The Bullet" Rutherford (Krasinski) who was a college standout at Princeton and a war hero. The young, debonair Bullet was a Medal of Honor winner in the War to End All Wars earned by getting an entire platoon of German soldiers to surrender single-handedly...allegedly.
Enter Lexie Littleton (Zellweger) who was an undercover reporter who was also interested in getting under the covers with first The Bullet then Dodge. Oh my, the drama is killing me.
Since Georgie's fingerprints and DNA are all over this film, one would expect handsome and funny, but unfortunately one gets hokey and plain.
The three main characters are charming and cute, but the story and dialogue lacks punch and pizzazz. Clooney fumbled the ball; Krasinski was throwing, but Clooney wasn't catching; Zellweger had the curves but the movie couldn't score between the lines. The team wasn't giving a hundred and ten percent.
Stop it already with the football puns!
On the bright side, I thought the music by Randy Newman highlighted with tuba's was outstanding. The set design was beautiful and first class. And the costumes were Oscar-worthy even though the "leatherhead" helmets made the players look like Coneheads from Remulak.
Clooney and Zellweger will look at this movie as just another big box-office hit where they made another ton of money, but Krasinski (Jim from the TV show "The Office") will remember this as the big break that sky-rocketed his career to another stratosphere. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 81. Larry H.
21This movie is about six MIT students who try to outfox the casinos of Las Vegas. They are a team led by MIT professor Mickey Roas (Kevin Spacey) who knows the ropes and the numbers but has "retired." The good professor recruits the brightest and the best to chase the big bucks playing black jack by "counting cards" and making appropriate mathematical calculations to swing the odds of winning from the house to the weekend genius players who are students during the week back in Boston.
Our reluctant hero, Ben Campbell (Jim Sturgess), is the best "21" player and assures the group that as soon as he makes $300,000 that is needed for Harvard Medical School then he will quit the Vegas game and the team. Yeah right. What happens in Vegas happens for a reason.
This flick is based on the book "Bringing Down the House" by Ben Mezrich.
And it opened on the same day as the beginning of the NCAA Men's Basketball Region playoffs at our own Reliant Stadium. Kevin Spacey is credited as the producer of this movie which is more like March Mediocrity than March Madness. Spacey is a Hollywood veteran and one of my favorite actors which reminds all of us how hard it is to make a really good film.
I didn't like any of the characters and found myself doing one of three things during the movie: 1) yawning 2) digging for those last kernels of popcorn at the bottom of the bag, and 3) contemplating walking out.
At one point in my life I wanted to be a professional gambler and even went to Vegas to try my hand at counting. That experience ended with me "counting" my blessings that I got out of town with my shirt.
As one gambler to another, Mr. Spacey, please do not ever make another movie until you have invited me to your focus group.
I can smell a stinker a mile off. Uh, oh, I made a funny. I don't want to be funny because I'm writing this piece shortly after seeing this stinker.
Uh oh, I just broke the rule of three's and I don't even know what the rule of three's is. Well, that depends on what the word "is" is. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 71. Larry H.
Meet the Brown'sThe full title of this film is "Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns" because Tyler Perry wrote, directed, and starred in this humorous slice of Americana. The story is about Brenda, a young single mom (Angela Bassett) living in the projects of Chicago who is down on her luck when she gets a letter informing her that her father has died.
That father would be Daddy Brown who lived in a small town in Georgia and has various other grown children that are very colorful, crass, and country compared to Brenda the Chicagoan. Brenda decides to take her 17 year old son and two young daughters to daddy's funeral and to meet the other members of the Brown family. And funny breaks out everywhere. This Southern Brown family is stereotypically funny and outrageous with a touch of tenderness and caring toward the wayward Brenda and her three children by three different men.
My favorite line by Brenda's bald and crazy brother Leroy Brown (David Mann) when trying to calm his very large, adult daughter: "...don't go Gospel Gangsta." I plan to share these words of wisdom with my pastor in hopes he can work it in a sermon.
Tyler Perry is a master at creating films with just the right amount of reality and raucous humor. Some of his more famous works include "Madea's Family Reunion" and "Diary of a Mad Black Woman." This film is adapted from his play by the simple name of "Meet the Browns."
Brenda's love interest is pretty boy Rick Fox the ex LA Laker who is still searching for his acting compass; the boy could shoot some hoops but his screen presence is something less than a three-pointer. Overall, however, the cast was marvelous and I laughed hysterically numerous times.
When you see this flick, just remember that I warned you about the hilarious scene at the dinner table when the oldest Brown brother explains to the younger Browns that Daddy Brown was a pimp and "...yo momma was a...ho."
The audience of over 200 was howling with laughter. Rock 'n Roll.
Larry H. Grade 88.
Horton Hears a Who!Dr. Seuss rules. I had not read "Horton Hears a Who" as I was too busy goofing off and playing baseball when I was a kid even though my momma tried to get me to read more. Maybe reading would have helped me in school and things like taking a S.A.T. test.
I didn't even know what a "Who" was. A Who is a person that lives in Whoville, ya big galoot.
Horton (voice by Jim Carrey) is an adorable elephant that lives in a Seuss-like jungle with other colorful/quirky animals ...er people. Due to his large elephant ears, Horton is able to hear the Mayor (voice of Steve Carell) of Whoville talking. Whoville is a tiny village that exists on a speck on a dandelion and as Steve Martin would say "...that's really small."
Problem: the speck's current location will result in the destruction of Whoville unless Horton can move the speck to a safe haven. Thus, Horton begins a "...trek to save the speck." Don't you just love Dr. Seuss.
Horton is challenged by his own neighbors who think he's crazy and dangerous because they can not hear the Whos because they do not have elephant-like ears, and unfortunately, the Mayor is confronted with similar disbelief in Whoville because the villagers can not hear Horton.
Horton perseveres because he is brave and loyal and truly believes that "...a person's a person no matter how small." Seuss rocks!
And the kids in my audience loved it. There were about 12 sets of parents and kids in my 11:45 showing which means I was the only person attending alone. I guess that makes me "that guy." Get a kid and go see this delightful movie about family, friends, love, good/evil, forgiveness, and fun in fantasy land. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 89. Larry H.
Semi-ProOne of the reasons I go to the movies on Friday afternoon is to see a flick on opening day. However, when "Semi-Pro" hit the theatres on Friday February 29th, I was on the road. There are other movies coming out on this cold Friday but I love Will Ferrell so I had to see his latest spoof about a 1976 ABA basketball team from Flint, Michigan. The owner/coach and starting forward is Jackie Moon (Ferrell). The team is a conglomeration of hapless, worn-out wannabe players who wear short-shorts and Afros of the 70's.
But before I bought my ticket I spotted "Ms Patricia" the manager of AMC Loew's and went over to her to thank her again for giving me a free ticket several weeks ago and kiss up to her generally. She seemed glad to see me and we made small talk and then I went over to the concession stand and ordered popcorn, Mr. Pibb, and Milk Duds. The sweet sales clerk quickly informed me "there's no charge for the popcorn and drink...but I'll have to charge you $3.00 for the candy." That Ms. Patricia is tricky.
I entered Theatre #13, and per my routine, looked around for a seat and determine where people were sitting so I could follow proper group dynamic etiquette and keep as far away as possible from the other patrons. As I hit the third step I realized there was no one in the auditorium but me. Uh oh, is this Will Ferrell movie that bad?
Then it dawned on me that this was a dream come true. I can laugh real loud and make sounds or even make a cell phone call and there will not be anyone else to complain. And I began laughing real obnoxiously during the trailers. I know I was overdoing it, but I could not let this golden opportunity escape.
Back to the movie. Jackie Moon needs to trade for a new player to beef-up the team so they can come in Fourth Place and have a shot at the anticipated merger with the NBA. And if you can buy into that premise you will enjoy this movie.
Actually, you don't have to believe any of this stupid movie, just sit back and chuckle at a few lame jokes and pratfalls. This movie is dumber than "Dumb and Dumber" and not as funny as "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" also starring Will Ferrell.
The team is "The Tropics" and the new player is "Monix" (Woody Harrelson). Coach Moon traded a washing machine for Monix. But the team is good-hearted; they shout "Let's Get Tropical" as a team whoop while putting their hands in the circle to get fired up to go onto the court. I should get more than free popcorn and Mr. Pibb for not walking out on this son of a movie.
About an hour into this experience I noticed that two people sauntered in the theatre and quietly sat on the first row aisle seats. I wondered what those guys were doing coming into this goofy film with only about thirty minutes to go.
Dang, now I had to act right and quit making weird noises. When it was obvious that the movie was about to end, I noticed that the heads of those two "guys" were very close to each other. "Hey, those aren't two guys, that person on the right has longish hair...what's going on in my theatre?" Well, didn't I feel stupid. I think I shared the theatre with two other people that didn't even know Well Ferrell was on the screen. Is there a law against that? Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 71. Larry H.
The Diving Bell and the ButterflyI saw this movie at The Angelika Theatre which is in downtown Houston nestled near Jones Hall and across the street from the Federal Courthouse. Underground parking is your best bet for the Angelika unless you've got an extra eight bucks and in a hurry to get a seat before the 11:45 am feature begins. The Angelika actually sells Dr. Peppers instead of that bogus Mr. Pibb crap so I was thrilled. I was not thrilled that the cup and lid did not fit tightly so almost every time I picked up the cup a little squirt came out the top and sides; I hate it when that happens.
"Scaphandre et le papillon, Le" is the French title for this magnificent film. I can pronounce it in a wonderfully tuned Texas twang and if you call me I'll share my French with you s'il vous plait. Luckily the subtitles are in English.
I chose this movie because there are not many good movies out now and this one is nominated in four categories and I want to be ready with my learned opinions when the Oscars are handed out on Sunday February 24th. Also, we in the biz are celebrating that host Jon Stewart will have the advantage of writers which is always helpful.
Director Julian Schnabel is nominated for Best Director; it is also nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Cinematography, and Best Editing. Because of the directing genius of Schnabel, the movie has a chance of winning an Oscar in each of these categories. I'm so glad I saw this movie before February 24th because so few people have seen it and I want to appear superior.
This French flick is adapted from a memoir by Jean-Dominique Bauby who had a devastating cerebro-vascular stroke at the age of 43 at a time when he was the editor for the magazine "Elle". He was cool, handsome, worldly, and quite the ladies man when he became suddenly paralyzed from "head to toe" except his left eye which he could blink. One blink was a "yes" and two blinks was "no." By blinking his left eye and the patient loving assistance from a therapist and a friend he "wrote" his story.
The magic of this movie is in the camera angles and the audience perspective from the "eye" of Jean-Do as he is known to his friends. Schanbel reveals Jean-Do slowly and painstakingly. We do not see his face for over thirty minutes and many of the scenes are doctors and therapists seemingly inches from the camera to create the sense that the audience is lying in the bed suffering with Jean-Do. It is sad and gut-wrenching.
I spent much of the movie wondering how I would react and cope if I was in a "locked-in syndrome" and how I would struggle to help my wife if she was the victim. I am still wondering. This is a unique story told by a man that felt trapped as though he was in a diving bell but survived because he had the imagination and love of a butterfly. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 91. Larry H.
Vantage PointBarton Springs Mall Austin, TX. I missed the Friday opening of "Vantage Point" on February 22nd as my wife and I were on our way to Austin to visit our son the UT student. On Saturday afternoon, we attended the UT vs. OU basketball game at the Frank Erwin Center, but I made sure we had enough time and energy to go to the movie later that night.
To get my mind right before the 8:00 PM movie, I had a massage. You know the kind of massage on the chairs out in the middle of the mall so everyone that walks by can see you. Afterwards, I felt very relaxed and quite ready for my movie.
I had seen the trailers for this movie many times and was really looking forward to it especially since it was starring William Hurt, Matthew "Lost" Fox, Forest Whitaker, Dennis Quaid, and Sigourney Weaver. Hurt and Whitaker are Oscar winners so surely this movie would be legit. The weekend tickets sales were $24 million. Not so fast ticket breath!
The setting is present day Spain. Countries from all over the world have come together to fight against terrorism and the summit is a sign of strength. US President Ashton (Hurt) is led by the Secret Service (Quaid and Fox) to the podium located in an open plaza in front of an energized and angry crowd when two rifle shots hit the President and down he goes. Shortly thereafter, a massive bomb explodes devastating the crowd. Chaos ensures.
We then see five reviews or "vantage points" of this assassination attempt and explosion which takes up most of this ninety minute show. There were at least three too many vantage points. I thought I was watching "Groundhog Day." About the third time the audience realized we were about to see the same old scenes but from a different "vantage point" I could detect audible moaning, shuffling and cell phones began to pop out. Texting began.
Then the director and screenwriter took the movie up a notch and landed in fantasy land as the twisted plot became unbelievable and farcical. And I thought to myself, "how do you take this much talent and goof up a good film?" for Pete's sake. And that's another problem. I don't usually make fun of someone's name but the director of this flick is Pete Travis. I think the cast suffers when they ask for direction from someone named "Pete."
It was fun being in Austin and I saw one of the folks leaving the theatre was wearing a blue shirt with large white lettering on the back: "Keep Austin Weird." That's when I said, "Toto, we're not in Sugar Land anymore."
Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 74. Larry H.
Definitely MaybeThis was my second movie of the day. I wouldn't have gone to this movie on a bet but Monique H. felt like going to a movie on this rainy Friday night so she was in charge of picking the movie. Ok, let's go to a chick flick.
We were in theatre #5 at First Colony AMC and it was crowded; we sat on the fourth row on the right side. I was shocked that the audience was so large so I guess I wasn't the only guy at the latest Hugh Grant-wannabe-falls-in love/lust-with-various-women. Then we have the privilege to speculate on which one of the lovelies will be lucky enough to win his "boyish" good looks heart. Gee, that sounds like a good gig if you can get it.
This wannabe was Will Hayes (Ryan Reynolds) from Wisconsin who comes to the Big Apple to work for the Bill Clinton Campaign in 1992. The story is told as a flashback bedtime story. Will tells his 11 year old daughter Maya (Abigail Breslin) all about his dating of the child's mother and other girlfriends in an attempt to respond to her newly developed inquisitive mind after she had her first sex education class at school.
The storyline is the same "love is complicated" that has been around since Cary Grant's love interests were eternally entangled. I give it high marks for quaint and cute. And I actually laughed heartily several times especially when Kevin Kline was on the screen. Date movie. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 85. Larry H.
Welcome Home Roscoe JenkinsI was having a terrible time picking a movie on this fine February Friday because the pickins are slim. So I decided to choose a movie based on its start time and since I had finished all the work that I had assigned myself, I left the office a little before 11 o'clock and headed to AMC's Loews at The Fountains.
I got my usual parking spot and rolled into the theatre complex and stood in line like a nice customer. I noticed that the 11 AM crowd is a little more decadent than the Friday noon crowd. It's a close call though, but those people appeared to have nothing important to do. Then I realized that I was one of them and they started lookin' better.
As I got closer to the ticket counter I noticed that one of the managers was assisting/training the clerk. The manager stepped over to one of the side registers and announced "...I can help you over here..." I quickly pulled out a ten dollar bill and quietly said "Roscoe Jenkins" and without reaching for my money, she handed me a ticket and said "this one's on us." At first I thought it was a promotion or something that I had missed, but I sucked up the courage and asked "so what's the occasion for me to get a free ticket?" Manager Patricia replied sweetly "...well, you are one of our best customers." Dang, I got misty-eyed; I just love it when people recognize my talent! I said "thank you" and walked over to the concession stand feeling pretty special. This happened once before about eight years ago, so I figure I'm getting about a dollar for every thousand that I spend at AMC; seems fair to me.
Martin Lawrence stars as R J Stevens who is a LA talk show host similar to Jerry Springer but hipper. He's also written a book entitled "Team Me" and is engaged to the beautiful and shapely Bianca (Joy Bryant) the latest winner of CBS' TV reality show "Survivor." In other words, they are pretty full of themselves.
His parents (James Earl Jones and Margaret Avery) still live at the original homestead in the country of the Deep South and are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. RJ and Bianca decide to attend this family gathering even though they are convinced that they are above these country folk who still talk smack and have not left home. RJ, who's real name is Roscoe Jenkins Jr is treated like the little punk kid he use to be by his family that consists of his brother Otis (Michael "The Green Mile" Clarke Duncan), sister Betty (Mo'Nique who almost stole the show), and cousins Reggie, the jive-talking con man, and Clyde (Cedric the Entertainer). Cousin Clyde was Roscoe's biggest competition in life when they were kids and Clyde shows up at the family reunion with the "prom queen" and Roscoe immediately feels the old flame burning for her even though he is supposedly madly in love with Bianca the hottie.
I was attending this movie only because I was desperate so I was ready to walk out and slip into another theatre (for free) if it started to drag in the slightest. But I got caught up in all the silliness, pratfalls, and one-liners and found myself laughing heartily...not a guffaw but a good belly laugh occasionally. All in all, it was worth the price of admission....er I mean $9.00 for you mere mortals. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 85. Larry H.
There Will Be BloodI had to see this movie because it's one of the Big Five nominated for Best Picture. The nominations were announced last Tuesday January 22nd at 7:30 AM Sugar Land time, and I was dutifully sitting in front of my TV, coffee in hand, daring The Academy to make choices that I did not approve of, and dang if they didn't do it again this year. I know best, but alas, I do not have a vote even though I should have one and if you really want to know the true "winners" just wait for the Sugar Awards which I will announce soon. As a reminder, all past Sugar Awards etc are archived on my web page at larryharrison.com.
It was a typical Friday and almost noon and I still had a few more office duties to accomplish before I disappeared out the door while signing letters and shouting borderline intelligent words of wisdom to a beloved staff. The trip to First Colony AMC was uneventful until I got out of my car and the full thrust of the rain and mid-40's weather hit me in the face. Wasn't fit for man nor beast. I bought my ticket for a mere $7.00 and was off to the concession stand to get my popcorn and Mr. Pibb and was still cold. While standing in line, I realized that if I also got some Milk Duds that I would proably be able to warm up faster. Cost: $11.00.
I hurried to Theatre #1 for the 12:05 showing and quickly found my aisle seat on the left and settled in to watch the trailers and get pumped for this nominated film. I get really excited when I am about to start a movie that has already been nominated even though I deeply resent the arrogance of Hollywood in making this Best Picture nomination without my imput; imput heck, I hadn't even seen it.
Anyway, I'm feeling very sure of myself and full of anticipation when the unthinkable happened: I was wearing a hoody and had stuck my Milk Duds in the front right pocket when I heard a "plop" and I knew it was not good. I quickly patted my pocket in search of my duds and confirmed the empty pouch. Now what? I stuck my hand down the side of the seat but couldn't get my hand all the way down to the floor and the duds were not in the seat. Please don't tell me that I'm going to have to go for broke and get on the floor. Before I took another breath, I'm down on my left knee, leg flopping in the aisle and left hand sweeping under the chair which looked like a black hole... nothing. Mild panic starts to kick in as I am sure that folks are now watching me instead of the upcoming features. But I am determined not to give up, so I give it another sweep; nothing. I'm warm now. I take a deep breath and make yet a third swipe under my chair and the area nearby and make contact with a small cardboard box... so I grab it and pull it up like I've caught a bass and lo behold, it was my duds. Amen, now I can get back to business. Dropping one's candy in a theatre is not befitting a semi-professional moviegoer so I plan to deny this entire tale.
Does this movie deserve its nomination? Well sure, I knew that. And so does Daniel Day-Lewis for Best Actor and Paul Thomas Anderson for screenplay and direction...and film editing, cinematography, and sound editing. This is an extremely well-made movie with in-depth character development of D D-L's character, Daniel Plainview, a shrewd, relentless oilman in the early twentieth century. Plainview explains that he is "just a family man" along with his young son H.W.(Dillon Freasier) trying to "speak plainly" and beat the competition including Standard Oil. If he has to cut corners and tell the shaded truth to naïve landowners to get what he wants, then so be it.
Director Anderson also directed and wrote "Magnolia" which should tell you all you need to know about his crazed genius which is on display again in his latest story adapted from Upton Sinclair's 1927 novel "Oil!". Anderson takes us on a long and emotional ride with the complicated, treachous Plainview that is confronted by the normal sins of the day but is also pitted against the equally conflicted young religious zealot Eli Sunday (Paul Dano). Dano did not get a nomination, but I would have given him the nod which goes to show you that The Academy really needs my input. But it's too late for them now so don't even ask me. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 92. Larry H.
The Bucket ListThis movie opened today/January 11th in the greater Houston/Sugar Land area. Because it opened in New York and Los Angeles in 2007, it qualifies for current Academy Award nominations. The nominations will be announced early morning January 22nd. This movie could be a surprise, but while I enjoyed the movie with the lovely Monique H., I don't think it worthy of nomination splash.
Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman are two guys in the same hospital room being treated for cancer. They get similar prognosis that they have less than a year to live so they decide to make a list of stuff to do before they "kick the bucket." Jack's character, Edward Cole, is a lot like Jack - rich, self centered and has a crazed look in his eye. Morgan's character is a car mechanic that never got to go to college but successfully raised three great kids and is still married to the same woman. Jack/Edward is divorced from his fourth wife and has no friends or family. The two opposites strike up a friendship based on mutual respect and spend much of the movie accomplishing the Bucket List items.
Director Rob Reiner does an excellent job of character development; these two giant movie stars completely won me over and tugged at my heart during the approximately 45 minutes of the movie that began in their shared hospital room. I knew early in this movie that I was going to fall hard at the end because of the deep emotion generated by the hall-of-fame acting of Jack and Morgan. I thought the travelling around the world by these two terminally ill thrill-seekers was interesting but not terribly entertaining.
The movie was at its best when Jack and Morgan were just plying their craft with few props or scenery. Biggest surprise: Morgan is substantially taller than Jack; I did not know that. I cried twice and had to take deep breaths only once. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
The SavagesThis is my first movie of 2008, and I had to travel to the heart of Houston (a long way from the 'burbs of Sugar Land) to see the exclusive showing of this movie at River Oaks Theatre. I arrived in theatre #2 shortly before the movie began so I ended up sitting on the third row from the front which is close enough that I could spit on the stage of this intimate venue with a seating capacity of 119. Tickets were being sold inside at the concession stand so it was one-stop shopping for ticket, Mr. Pibb, and popcorn which makes for a fast, efficient beginning.
The Savages is a family that consists of Jon Savage (Philip Seymour Hoffman) a 42 year old college professor at a Buffalo university whose girlfriend is Polish and must go home because her visa has expired, Wendy Savage (Laura Linney) a 39 year old playwright wannabe living in New York City, single and having an affair with a married man, and their father Leonard Savage (Philip Bosco) who abandoned them as kids and was living with his girlfriend in Sun City, Arizona, but she died and now he's on his own and suffers from dementia. And that's the good news. Not really but this is a comedy drama because it is very funny and sad.
Hoffman stars in every movie made this year; ok, that's an exaggeration but this is his third major movie ("Charlie Wilson's War" and "Before the Devil Knows Your Dead") and he is absolutely wonderful in all three movies; he's a great actor. And Laura Linney turns in an Oscar-nomination worthy performance, too.
This movie was written and directed by Tamara Jenkins who will receive big kudos for her rendition of this confused, guilt-ridden family faced with the issue of "what do we do with old dad now that he is crazy and can't care for himself even though he didn't care much for us but we're all he's got so we've got to help him even though we have our own lives and our own issues."
This is a fascinating movie and the acting is off the charts, but it is not a fun movie as in "yeehaw" yet it is emotional and thought-provoking. And my compelling thought centered on: "...dang, I better be nicer to Eric H.
so when it's time to change my diapers, he will at least hire some competent staff to help out!" Watching this movie is almost like watching a documentary on the decisions and turmoil of caring for the elderly. So, Eric H., if you're reading this, you know I love you and if you take care of Monique H. and me, we'll give you a couple of extra bucks and let you finish college on a full scholarship and if you do anything to jack with us we'll come back to haunt you!" Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 91. Larry H.
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