Larry H's Movie Reviews for 2002
Index of Movies:
Chicago | About Schmidt | Catch Me If You Can | Gangs of New York | The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers | Maid in Manhattan | Analyze That | Solaris | Die Another Day | Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets | Frida | I Spy | Comedian | Knockaround Guys | Sweet Home Alabama | Red Dragon | The Four Feathers | My Big Fat Greek Wedding | One Hour Photo | City By The Sea | Signs | Austin Powers in Goldmember | K-19 The Widowmaker | Road to Perdition | Men in Black II | Windtalkers | Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood | The Sum Of All Fears | Insomnia | Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones | Life or Something Like It | Changing Lanes | Panic Room | Monster's Ball | Iris | The Count of Monte Cristo | I Am Sam | Black Hawk Down | Gosford Park | Mulholland Drive
I had to go inside the loop again to see a movie; Edwards Theatres 24 near the Compaq Center. Parking in garages and taking escalators and elevators just to get settled into theatre #11/12:15 pm which is referred to as the "Grand Palace" theatre. Take that Sugar Land! Had a late breakfast/early lunch (brunch?) so I did not eat any popcorn or soft drink. Really messed up my rhythm.
This is a musical- a big time musical directed and choreographed by Rob Marshall adapted from the Broadway version. Takes place in old Chicago during the days of Al Capone and corruption which makes for more fun for everybody. The opening scene features Catherine Zeta-T-Mobile-Jones performing, singing, and dancing. I found myself saying "...hey, I didn't know she could do that...does Michael Douglas know about this?" She was awesome. So was top billing Renee Zellweger = great performance, singing and dancing. That's the whole point of the show. If you do not want to see a musical, do not go. It's singing and dancing from start to finish. I cut and pasted the list below to give you a flavor of the fantasy and fun of the story and actors - bold and bawdy, sassy and sexy.
Cast:
Renee Zellweger (Roxie Hart)
Catherine Zeta-Jones (Velma Kelly)
Richard Gere (Billy Flynn)
John C. Reilly (Amos Hart)
Christine Baranski (Mary Sunshine)
Queen Latifah (Mama Morton)
Taye Diggs (Bandleader)
Lucy Liu (Go-To-Hell Kitty)Jones and Zellweger will be nominated and probably Gere, Latifah, and Marshall. Here's just a taste of the story: women shoot/stab their boyfriends/husbands because "They had it Coming," then go to jail, await their trial and slick tap dancing lawyer Billy Flynn will get them off and all the while dancing and singing any time the moods hits them which is often. Nothing too serious even though there are several murders, but... they had it coming. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 91. Larry H.
It's about Jack Nicholson. One of the great actors of all time. I had to go to River Oaks Theatres to see this limited release movie. River Oaks has first run movies as well as the oldies and several times a year I have to go "inside the loop" to see these new movies because they have not made it to the 'burbs yet. Speaking of "oldies," there were more gray hairs in this audience than in a 24 theatre multiplex in Sugar Land. This senior crowd is in part due to the location of the theatre and in part because this group loves Jack and he plays a 66 year old recently retired insurance executive who lives in a house that might have been on Ella Lane but for the setting of this movie was Omaha, Nebraska.
Jack...I'm mean Warren Schmidt does not cope well with his retirement. Has no apparent hobbies or interest and as we said in Bay City "he was henpecked." His wife Helen "waited on him hand and foot" but she also told him exactly what to do and how to act. He was required to sit down to pee because of the "toilet seat must be down" rule. Helen and Warren have one grown daughter who is engaged to a pony-tailed water bed salesman in Denver and Schmidt is convinced that Randall "...is not up to snuff."
Helen suddenly dies and Schmidt is adrift and helpless having now lost his wife/caretaker and his career in a short period of time. Schmidt starts to realize that he really misses Helen even though he resented her when she was alive. His daughter's marriage is getting close so Schmidt drives his new RV to Denver to help with the wedding and/or talk his daughter out of marrying Randall. His wife had fully approved of the marriage.
Jack walked, talked, moved, gestured, nodded, sat, stood, shuffled, bobbed, dressed, and combed his hair just like the Schmidt character should have. In short, Jack nailed it. He will be nominated and is currently the front runner in my book. Randall's oversexed mother Kathy Bates is also superb in her supporting role. I am giving this movie an "A" rating primarily in tribute to Jack's performance. The audience laughed and moaned in all the right places, but this is not a great or entertaining movie and will not make my top ten list of entertaining movies of '02. But to be in the house with Jack for a couple of hours when he is consistently knocking them out of the park was a delight. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 92. Larry H.
It's been a great day. Santa came some time during the night and we had our kick off at home around 7:00 am. And then on to Aunt Suzanne's for Christmas dinner. I have not been to a movie with Monique H. in many months. You might remember that she acted badly (talked too much) at the movies one time and I had to put her on probation. Eric H. has not been to the movies with me in a long time because 16 year olds do not go with dad as much as they once did. But I thought that this movie was going to be special (Spielberg) and it was Christmas Day and all, so I invited them to come with me. Off to Loew's Theatres at the Fountains for a 2:20 showing.
Leonardo DiCaprio plays Frank Abagnale Jr. who at age 16 (same age as Eric H.) begins a life as an impersonator: teacher, airline pilot, doctor and lawyer so he could gain others' confidence and cash millions of dollars of phony checks. Young Frank had run away from home upon learning that his parents were getting a divorce. In his own sad and twisted logic, he was trying to reunite his parents with his criminal escapades. DiCaprio is very good, but all the pieces must fit in order for a movie to be great. Tom Hanks, as the loveable Joe Friday-like FBI agent tracks Abagnale for years and they form a respectful bond. Hanks is very good, but his skill was not enough either.
I judged this movie harshly because it is Christmas Day, the movie was directed by Steven Spielberg and starring "Titanic" DiCaprio and Academy Awards Hanks, so I showed up with high expectations of a grade of 95. The crowd was around 300 and they laughed at all the right places and seemed to be focused when the story was emotional. I don't like to quote people that attend movies with me because they are not trained, but I think their comments bring something to the table. Monique H. gave it an 89 and said "...I really liked those guys... but it was not a great movie." Eric H. shared that it was "...one the better movies I've seen in a while..." He would not give it a number grade. He explained that some people do not give number grades. I let it go.
I thought the story lacked intrigue, action, and care level. It will be a big hit at the box office, but Spielberg and Hanks will not be remember for this movie even though Leo will get kudos. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 86. Larry H.
This is classic Scorsese. Raw, bloody, intense, and deep character struggles. The opening scene in 1846 that pits two rival groups of The Natives versus the Irish immigrants reminded me of the initial shooting scene in "The Wild Bunch." Except the combatants used clubs, knives, axes, fists, and head butts. Come to think of it, this type of violence/combat is similar to "Braveheart" and Middle-earth. Which is to say- the period of this movie (1846-1863) marked the end of the "dark" ages of America. Maybe.
Daniel Day-Lewis (almost a sure bet for a nomination) plays the gang leader who rules the area of New York known as "Five Points" which is home to the lower class "natives" and the new immigrants. The fights are for power and survival fueled by greed. In the opening scene, Leonardo DiCaprio's character (Amsterdam Vallon) is a little boy and witnesses the brutal killing of his father by Bill the Butcher (Day-Lewis). Young Amsterdam hides the knife that killed his father and comes back to claim it 16 years later after getting out of an orphanage called "Hellsgate." Young man Amsterdam is given some words of wisdom by a priest and a bible which he promptly throws in the river and returns to Five Points to settle the score.
DiCaprio turns in an above average performance, but Day-Lewis' Butcher was outstanding. A delicate mix of courage, savagery, compassion, respect for his enemies, and cruelty. He wears a Lincoln type stove top hat much of the movie which only accents his very tall frame as he looms over the inhabitants of this New York ghetto. He is known as the "The Butcher" because he enjoys cutting up meat like a common butcher, but his favorite carcass is that of a pig because it is "...closest to human flesh." I had difficulty breathing during one particularly frightening and gruesome display of The Butcher's talent for wielding a knife. This movie is not for the faint hearted.
The last part of the movie has the Civil War and the Draft Riots as a backdrop. By this time, the lower Manhattan area is torn apart by the war, political corruption and near lawlessness. Gangs form. The love and involvement of Jenny the pickpocket (Cameron Diaz) is part of the complicated rivalry/revenge and impending "challenge" between Amsterdam and The Butcher.
The screenplay, costumes and set design are also worthy of nominations. Martin Scorsese might get his due for this masterpiece. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 95. Larry H.
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
I thought this installment (#2 of 3) of J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy was better than the first one. I know this is great news for you Ring Freaks. I just re-read my review of "The Fellowship of the Ring" and I liked the first movie pretty well - Grade 94. Oh well, I got caught up in all the action and suspense in this presentation by Director Peter the Great Jackson and thought that surely this movie was better. Let's just say this will be a mega hit with multiple nominations.
The cast of Elijah Wood (Frodo Baggins) as the heroic hobbit, Ian "Gandalf" McKellen, Viggo "Aragon" Mortensen (swordsman), Sean Astin, Liv Tyler, Cate Blanchette, and Orlando "Legolas" Bloom (archer) are back with more confidence and complications. Things have gotten much more combative in Middle-earth and the good vs. evil struggle has become quite bloody. I heard a lot about the "violence" in this movie as though there was something wrong with the quantity. There is a tremendous amount of war and hand to hand combat and heads do roll, but all is done in the name of advancing a masterful piece of movie artistry.
I knew I was in for a mystical ride when during the opening scene I had to stop eating popcorn in order to fully process all the action and fear. And the intensity rarely took breaks. This chapter has the same bows, arrows, swords, axes, spears, knives, etc, but it adds flying dragons, giant elephants, walking/talking trees, and lots of up close shots of some really ugly/scary characters. And, man, do they have some wicked teeth.
The good guys have to retreat to Helms Deep, the ancient fortress of Rohan, in order to make an Alamo-like stand against Saruman's army of 10,000+ bad guys. The battles that ensue are legendary; my compliments to Jackson and the crew. Simply spectacular. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 94. Larry H.
This is one of the greatest stupid movies of the year. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Liked all the characters and if you promise not to tell anyone, I will admit that I got goose pimples twice and teary-eyed toward the end. Is this a romantic chick flick? You bet. All women should see this movie and about half the men.
I went to see this movie because the "Christmas" movies don't start until December 18th and besides... I had to see J-Lo. This is the classic Cinderella/Sabrina syndrome: poor girl hooks up with rich, handsome politician (er..prince). J-Lo is a maid in a four star hotel and Ray "Mr. Sensitive" Fiennes is running for US Senator. There are a series of cleverly written misunderstandings and before you know it J-Lo the maid is taking a walk in the park in a $5,000.00 outfit with Mr. Nice Guy Playboy who is not sure who she is; he thinks she is staying at the same hotel where he is staying. Actually calls her by the "wrong" name most of the movie. Oh well, we can accept a little white lie in the name of love.
J-Lo's son is splendidly played by a ten year old boy who is a cross between Opie and Doogie Howser, M.D. Stanley Tucci as the politician's campaign aid and Bob Hoskins as a floor butler at the Beresford hotel are excellent. Much of the movie is about J-Lo's character Marisa Ventura's social and economic plight while maintaining her dignity and beauty. Director Wayne Wang had the right mix of fun and heartbreak without muffling Ms. Lopez. (Note: Wayne Wang should win some sort of directorial award if for no other reason, he might have the coolest name ever invented.)
Jennifer Lopez is BIG. And I am not talking about her butt or her boyfriend Ben. She is a super superstar and this movie will make her even bigger if that's possible. Go see this movie soon so we can all stay focused on the upcoming movies. I need some money quickly because I plan to go to many movies in the coming weeks. I love America. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
Executive Producer Billy Crystal came to me two years ago and mentioned he could use a couple of extra bucks as venture capital for his sequel "Analyze That." My mutual funds and Enron stock had not been doing so good, so I said to Billy, "...ok, but I gotta know that it's gonna be a winner and all that..." and Billy said "...fagetaboutit...I've got Bobby DeNiro and that Friends chick, the blonde one, and Harold Ramis is co-writing and directing...it's a can't miss...trust me..." "Put me down for two large" I bellowed in my best Sugar Land Mafia wannabe imitation. You,...you're good, you.
If Billy paid DeNiro his normal fee, my investment is in trouble. There are some funny one-liners, but the story is dumb. DeNiro's Paul Vitti is getting out of prison after serving 2 1/2 years in the hole because he is acting crazy and catatonic while singing tunes from "West Side Story', gets released to Crystal's character who is a psychiatrist (same as "Analyze This")and then goes back to being a mobster who cries every time the murder of his father is mentioned. Who cares...is this lame or what. We might have to give Harold Ramis some weed to get him back on track. I don't want to encourage the use of illicit drugs, but it breaks my heart to see such a waste of talent and if drugs can be used for medicinal purposes, then dat gummit, we should at least consider it. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 71. Larry H.
I know this is the day before Thanksgiving and I'm suppose to be thankful for my bountiful year, answered prayers, great family, and good health, but giving thanks under these circumstances can be quite challenging: had to go to AMC not Loews, had to catch a 2:10 flick rather than noon, no reserved parking space, and coke-popcorn-Butterfinger (mini) not milk duds. Life is difficult.
I'm typing this at home on my new superduper laptop with wireless DSL connection; I normally write this piece at the office on Friday afternoon. I feel a little out of this world and that is where "Solaris" is located. The exact location is never revealed. Actually, very little in the way of detail and background of the main characters is shared with the audience other than George Clooney, a psychologist, is requested to go into outer space to help the crew at a space station near Solaris. We find out the bits of the mystery through Clooney's character. Seems there are some unaccounted for "people" on the space station and the crew is at various levels of insanity or dead.
Here is what the movie was not: scary, suspenseful, dramatic, funny, and interesting. Other than that it was a pretty solid story. I've been in the business for years and my sources tell me that Director/Writer Steven Soderbergh went to Clooney and had this exchange: "...hey, George, have I got a great script for you or what...haven't we made a lot of money on our other movies and this will be no different...it will be different but intriguing with very little dialogue... and issues of life, death, salvation, etc...but, Steven, will I have to be nude in any scenes?...well, Georgie, there is this one scene where we will have a close-up of your buttocks...why? because we did some polling and we feel that we need to show more of you, if you know what I mean...frontal? no, only backal...butt crack? Yeah, about 6-8 inches...ok, but you better be right on this, Steven."
One of the highlights of the movie was when a lady's cell phone started ringing and it rang long enough that I could almost recognize the catchy little tune. I only have five words for Soderbergh "you suck; I hate you." Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69. Larry H.
I thought about going to the basement at Greenway Plaza to see "Far From Heaven" but that seemed like too much trouble and considered seeing the new Kevin Kline movie, but it was not showing at a convenient time. Until December 18th et seq when the real movies come out, we need to give these old standards a chance.
There are no surprises from an entertainment standpoint with this movie; if you like James Bond movies, you will like this one. The action is nonstop and the skanks are galore. The stage begins in North Korea (the bad guys) moves to Hong Kong, Cuba, London, Iceland...well you get the idea. The world is in trouble unless Bond...James Bond 007 saves us all and makes whoopee with Halle Berry who plays the part of Jinx. Jinx will probably result in a spinoff/sequel, but it will be a turnoff. Even with Ms. Goodbody Berry in it. Halle, go home and polish your Oscar and don't do anymore female Bond wannabee movies. Pierce Brosnan, do as many Bond movies as you can before they turn you out to pasture because you have reached your highest and best use.
Even though the Sig pistols and space age gadgets are fun and watching an explosion every 2.7 minutes is appealing, I still can't wait for the big boys to come on the screen in the next several weeks: Jack, Meryl, Billy, Bobby, Tom, and Leo. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 80. Larry H.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Someone must have thrown some voodoo dust on me as I walked into theatre #2 because shortly upon my arrival I became very sleepy. What a bust! This movie was pitiful and completely uninteresting and redundant. I did not like Harry or any of the characters this time. When Harry got in a sword (wand) fight with his nemesis, I was hoping that they would simultaneously turn each other into frogs and hop off the screen. Chamber of Secrets? Not a clue; I boogied. Let me count the ways this movie sucked.
I will now try to write something positive. Oh, here's one. There were 5-6 kids in the lobby dressed up in Harry Potter costumes. Little boogers should've been in school instead of watching this witchcraft Tom Foolery. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 65 W. Larry H.
I took a chance on this one. I knew little about it, but that little movie guy in the recesses of my brain encouraged me to give it a whirl. What a pleasant surprise. This movie will make Salma Hayek a movie star.
Hayek plays Frida Kahlo who was a world famous Mexican "artist and cultural icon who lived life to extreme." The movie is adapted from the novel by Hayden Herrera. We are first introduced to young Frida when she is a pesky college girl in 1922 Mexico City. Her character and the story span the next thirty years. The story, as are most great movies, is a love story.
She marries a well known, older Mexican artist - Diego Rivera played superbly by Alfred Molina. He explains to her that he has already been divorced twice but he will always remain "loyal" to her even though he admits with a straight face that his medical doctor has diagnosed him as "physiologically incapable of fidelity." Frida thinks she can overcome and cope with this marriage proposition because she is a mix of the hard drinking, smoking, barfly character of Karen Allen in "Raiders of the Lost Ark," Madonna's Evita and Madonna.
Frida is severely injured in a trolley car accident as a young woman which gives her insights for her portraits of "loneliness and pain." The movie is about her struggling career, a failed marriage, international travel and fame, sadness, physical pain, and a really fun, bawdy girl. It's rated R.
Hayek's performance is magnificent. Supposedly, she resembles Kohla and looks comfortable donning the makeup to enhance the character's eyebrows that meet in the middle which I think is appropriately described as a "unibrow." That whole eyebrow thing took some getting use to; I'm not sure I ever did relax - I kept wanting to shout "hey, you wanta pluck a couple of those brow hairs so we can pay attention to the movie?" But I did not for fear it would disturb the other five people in attendance.
The script is wonderful and I am confident that the cast took less than their normal fee just so they could be a part of a meaningful movie - Antonio Banderas and Ashley Judd as artists, Edward Norton as Nelson Rockefeller, and Geoffrey Rush as Leon Trotsky. Yes, there is an ongoing backdrop of Communism of the '30's. This movie is not for everyone, but I was thrilled to see it especially since I went O for 2 last week. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 92. Larry H.
As I settled into my seat just as the movie was beginning, I was feeling rather smug for my strategic movie watching skills had carried the day yet again. Sure, I just walked out on Jerry Seinfeld, but I was about to see an updated version of the old TV show starring Bill Cosby and Robert Culp. This time the two young and semi-hip secret agents were trying to avert the capture of a stealth airplane in Uzbekistan.
Eddie Murphy and Owen "Nose" Wilson are two of my favorites. But so is Jerry S. and that's why I walked out of theatre #11, after about 25 minutes, with my tail between my legs and feeling slightly groggy. Two pitiful movies in one afternoon is more than one boy should have to endure. And endure I did not. I walked out with a major 'tude.
Last week I bought a Sony Mini DV camcorder, and as soon as I can figure out how to run it, I'm gonna make a movie about my life in Sugar Land and release it in local theatres as an alternative to the current crap. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69 W. Larry H.
Mother Superior, I have sinned. What have you done, My Son? I walked out on Jerry Seinfeld. Say it ain't so. About thirty minutes into this documedy, I realized that I had not laughed; not once. This "movie" is merely Jerry's take on what it takes to be a stand up comedian by showing behind the scenes discussions among guys in the biz mixed with some onstage routines. You know the drill, "...oh it's soooo hard doing 20 minutes of comedy in front of a live audience..." If I want to see a documentary I'll watch the Discovery Channel.
I decided that I would walk as soon as I finished my popcorn, Coke, and Milk Duds. Then go out into Loew's hallway and search for a timely movie for a smooth transition. Maybe I can even catch that movie with Eddie Murphy and that guy with the nose. It was my second choice movie anyway.
As I walked out of theatre #2, I looked immediately across the hall at theatre #11 and lo and behold "I Spy" was starting in 20 minutes. I figured that God was rewarding me for my clean living.
I can see "Seinfeld" four times this evening at home. Rock 'n Roll.
NR W. Larry H.
I went to the 11:10 am flick at Cinemark on the toll way. I needed an early show because I'm on my way to the Bay City Lions Club Rice Festival to hook up with David H. who is the Chairman this year. He and I have been going to the Rice Festival since we were little boys circa 1958. David mailed me a pass to get in the gate and an armband to ride all the rides for free; I'm good to go.
David H. and Larry H. aren't exactly Wise Guys like the Knockaround Guys, but we had to shake down a few folks in our day. This movie introduces us to the Generation X mobsters in "late November 1987 Brooklyn." These young turks, I mean Italians, had a seemingly simple job of delivering a bag of money ($500 Large) to make things right. The lead young goomba is Matty (Barry Pepper) who is not really cut out for the mob world, but he convinces his underboss father Barry "Chains" Demaret (Dennis Hopper) to let him take charge of delivering the money. Things backfire and the money ends up in the hands of two dirty cops in Mibaux, Montana. Matty gathers up his posse which includes Taylor (Vin "XXX" Diesel) and Johnny Marbles (Seth Green) with the idea of retrieving the money for the old man. Here's the mix: multiple guns, bad guys vs. bad guys, greed and deceit, in a town in Montana that is smaller than Bay City. As Uncle Teddy (John Malkovich) explained if the money is not recovered "... then we are facing the Three R's - the roof, the river, or the revolver." Most of the movie takes place in Mibaux with a special blend of suspense, subtle humor, and blood.
This is an ok movie, but if you liked "Sweet Home Alabama" then don't go see this movie. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 87. Larry H.
The movies this week were a little weak so I took the advice of a couple of you people (female) and went to this movie because I wanted a sure thing. Reese Witherspoon is from Pigeon Creek, Alabama, but now is a successful clothes designer in New York. She has not been back to her hometown for over seven years. She gets engaged to a rich New York politico who gives her a giant diamond ring. Problem: she is still "married" to her hometown beau - her "soul mate since she was ten." She goes back to Alabama to "divorce" her husband and get things tidied up so she can marry the rich yankee.
She sees all her old high school friends and her parents for the first time in years. I am getting tired just relating this pitiful story. The best line of the movie prior to exiting by Larry H. was mumbled by her father (Fred Ward) to her mother (Mary Kay Place) "...Momma, go get that baloney cake outta the icebox." The movie went downhill from there.
This is why I go see movies on opening day. I am the one that should be telling you people which movies to go see, not the other way around. Reese Witherspoon has a nice chin, but she could not save this lamo screenplay. I stayed a full 55 minutes before I walked out and I am embarrassed I did not leave earlier. I hope nobody saw me in that place. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69W. Larry H.
We were having a giant breakfast at IHOP when I realized that I had to hurry to make the 11:50 AM showing of "Red Dragon." I left the check with Monique H. for her to pay. She knew that I was going to the movies so we had come in separate cars. She asked loving "...why do you want to go see that movie; it will just make you sit on the edge of your seat." That's why I love her so.
About fifteen minutes into this film, I tried to move my left arm and discovered that it was "asleep." That's because I was so mesmerized by the opening scenes that I forgot to move. One's arm going to sleep is worse than sitting on the edge of your seat. The story and suspense never let up. I was entranced by the acting as well as the diabolical acts of Hannibal Lecter and the new serial killer- the Tooth Fairy.
The performances by this cast were nothing short of Hall of Fame. Anthony Hopkins as Dr. Lecter is as good as ever even though he is younger circa early 1980's. Other nomination caliber performances were: Edward Norton as the Clarice/FBI agent smart guy gonna catch the killer Will Graham; Ralph "The English Patient" Fiennes as the Tooth Fairy; Harvey "Mr. Wolfe" Keitel as Will's former boss at the FBI; Emily Watson plays a blind woman who gets involved with the Tooth Fairy; Mary-Louise Parker as Will's wife; Phillip Seymour Hoffman as a tabloid reporter.
When I watch one of these movies, I do not try to figure out the killers next move etc; if it comes to me, then ok. I'm just along for the ride and the emotional rearranging. Director Brett "Rush Hour" Ratner has hit the big time with this flick. Wait till you see his next movie. I don't know what his next movie will be, but somebody will give him mega bucks. Probably already working on it. Screenwriter Ted "Silence of the Lambs" Tally is a genius and Thomas Harris who wrote the original novel is in need of some serious therapy. The nominations will abound. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 95. Larry H.
I took a chance on this one. My instincts are good. Before the movie started and after parking in my assigned spot at Loew's, I ordered buttered popcorn. So much butter that I had to eat it like a lizard which is fun in a reptile kinda way. Also need to make this update because a few folks have asked to go to the movies with me lately. Not gonna happen; ok, you can go, but you can't sit by me.
Circa 1884, the British rule a fourth of the world and there is a Muslin rebellion in the Sudan so the Brits send their best and brightest officers off to war to correct this attack on the crown. These red coats take fighting for one's county very serious and failure to step forward, especially as an officer, during a time of combat is extreme cowardice and brings shame on the officer and his family. Of course our hero Harry (Heath Ledger) decides that he will resign his commission in the Army rather than go to the Sudan to fight. He explains that he is "...mostly scared" when pressed for a reason. There is a tradition in Britain of giving a coward a "white feather" to dramatize cowardice; Harry receives four white feathers - three from fellow officers and one from his new fiancé Ethne (Kate I'm Goldie's Girl Hudson).
Harry leaves Britain a disgrace and goes to the Sudan as a civilian. Why? That's what the movie is all about and it is a great story. I'm dying to give you details because I was intensely intrigued and interested in the unfolding plot. Hint: Harry tries to do right but he is so conflicted he nearly dies numerous times. But for his guardian angel Abou (Djimon Hounsou) saving his bacon several times, he would not be so lucky.
This is a war flick with rifles, pistols, swords, horses, camels, sand, bayonets, throats cut, torture, prejudice of all kinds, and big religious clashes between Christians and Muslims. I conjured up thoughts of "Lawrence of Arabia," "The English Patient," and World War II and the Vietnam War. However, this "coward" would not have gone north to Canada, but would have gone to ....I don't know. Note: at first I thought Harry looked like John Walker Lindh and then I started thinking he looked like Jesus. Whoa!
When watching this movie, do not give up because it starts slowly. The classic themes of war bad, courage good, and forbidden love are well done. I do not know Heath Ledger, but he is one of my early favorites for a Best Actor nomination. Ditto for Supporting Actor Djimon Hounsou, but I know his work. Other nominations: costume and cinematography. Rock 'n Roll
Grade 93. Larry H.
I laughed a lot. I got goose pimples and cried at the wedding reception. I must be getting old. I loved this movie. It's the "Full Monty" of '02. The star is Nia Vardalos (Toula) who is thirty years old and still not married. Not good for a Greek girl from Chicago who lives at home with her overbearing, outrageous parents. But they love her; if she would just get married. Her dad is very worried that she has not married because he reminds her constantly that she is "looking old." Toula is frustrated and scared because she knows the Greek credo for women is "...marry a Greek boy, have lots of babies, and cook..." She decides to get contacts, change her hair and stop looking like an ugly duckling.
Then Toula meets Mr. Right and his name is Ian Miller (John Corbett). That's a problem because you guessed it - there's never been a Greek boy named Ian. What's a girl to do. Her whole extended family is counting on her to finally get married to a Greek and start having some Greek babies. But true love is a powerful animal.
Here is an example of this clever screenplay and the laugh-out-loud humor: after meeting Ian and giving in to the temptation to at least date a non-Greek, she tells her family she is taking a pottery class so she can spend some time with him. Her dad (Michael Constantine) is ok with her studying pottery because "...the Greeks invented pottery." He explains to Toula that there are only two kinds of people: those that are Greek and those that wish they were Greek. And you say "...hey, Larry H., only a Greek person could write this script." And you would be correct movie breath; the writer is none other than the star Nia Vardalos who is an alum from "Second City."
The movie has already grossed $100+ million. And I'm real happy for the producers because they need the money. Two of the producers are Tom Hanks and his wife Rita Wilson. Gotta love America! The other two stars are Toula's mother and aunt played by Lainie Kazan and Andrea Martin. The cast is marvelous. If you are saying "...I do not know Nia Vardalos...what's she look like?" Not to worry; you'll see her at the Academy Awards next spring. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 93. Larry H.
I've got to see a little happier movie. This is two movies in row that are real downers. There are zero light moments in this one. I'm trying to make a stupid little joke about popcorn or my parking spot, but I'm too bummed. Here's one high note: Robin Williams will get serious consideration for a nomination and the movie is a must see for movie freaks.
But be warned, this movie is CREEPY. Williams plays Cy "the photo guy" Parrish who works in the photo finishing department of a suburban store named SavMart. Cy lives alone, eats alone, watches TV alone and has no life outside his obsession with his job and in particular the photos over the years of the Yorkin family - Nina, Will, and Jake age 9. Cy lives his life through the apparent "happy" photos of the Yorkin family. He fantasizes that he really is the Yorkins' "Uncle" Cy. Footnote: beware of men that refer to themselves as "uncle."
In a voice-over, Cy says "People take pictures of the happy moments of their lives. No one ever takes a photo of something they want to forget." Something happens in the Yorkin family that causes Cy to feel compelled to inject himself into the situation so he can make it right. And the story gets really creepy. Director and writer Mark Romanek weaves a multi-layered story that has a compelling ending and a critical angle of American suburbanites.
Another footnote: when you see this movie, please try to remember that my personal "photo guy" is named Deepak. Just a hint - this movie has a piece of "Psycho" and a pinch of "American Beauty." Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 91. Larry H.
And I thought they were talking about Galveston. This city by the sea is Long Beach, New York, "about 30 minutes" from Manhattan where Robert "Bobby" De Niro is Lt. Vincent LaMarca NYPD. He is past retirement time, but stays on as a cop because he is divorced, lives alone, and not much going on his life except a cozy relationship with Frances "Fargo" McDormand who lives one floor below.
The movie opens with the introduction of De Niro's son who we find as a pitiful junkie that gets in trouble with one of the local pushers and the plot thickens. The web is complicated because the "trouble" of the son naturally falls into the lap of daddy the cop which brings up all the abandonment issues for De Niro, his son, and De Niro's father who "abandoned" him if you count going to the electric chair as abandonment. Will the cycle stop? There are some pretty heavy/dark aspects of this story, but I think I might require my sixteen year old to see this movie so he will never get a divorce or do drugs. The audience giggled once, but only once.
James Franco turned in an exceptional performance as the mixed up drug addict and McDormand was her steady self. She also was looking kinda cute. De Niro's partner was played by George Dzundza who also teamed up with him in "The Deer Hunter."
This movie gets five bonus points because of Bobby Ne Niro. The suspense and story were nothing to get excited about, but Bobby is one of the great actors of all time. Few people can call him "Bobby" but since I'm in the biz, it's ok. You should not try it though. I know some of Bobby's secrets that he does not like to share with just everyone. He had a conversation with God. It went something like this, and I am paraphrasing: Heavenly Father, I desperately want to be an actor, please help. Yes, my son, I will help you. I will give you a face, a face full of expression and wrinkles, ...er no... something better than wrinkles, I will give you grooves in your face and a mole (not too big) on your upper right cheek and penetrating eyes and hair to match...and then you must do the rest. Yes, my Father, I accept this gift.
I had to skip down to the next paragraph to conclude these remarks because I got all teary eyed just sharing that story about Bobby and could not end with the lighthearted....Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 87. Larry H.
I arrived at this movie with medium to low expectations. I usually don't buy into "...maybe some aliens from outer space made these signs in our corn field or maybe it's just a hoax like it was several years back." Low expectations can be a payoff.
This was a stunning movie that was well written and masterfully directed by M. Night "The Sixth Sense" Shyamalan. Folks that rip Shyamalan or either stupid or jealous. Hey, I don't think we need to get in to name calling. I'm just telling you, Dude, that to call his work Hitchcockian is not a stretch. The boy is good. I call him "boy" partially because I like to call people boy which gives me a feeling of superiority and because I think Night (that's what we call him in the biz) is around thirty two. The movie has a pinch of "Close Encounters of the Third Kind," "Jurassic Park," "Jaws," "Body Snatchers," "Pyscho/The Birds," and "War of the Worlds."
Mel Gibson is a former preacher turned farmer after his wife dies and he is so angry at God that he no longer prays. His very complex younger brother Joaquin Phoenix moves in to help him raise the two kids played by Rory Culkin and Abigail Breslin. The kids were outstanding. Ditto for Phoenix and to some degree Gibson. These four characters are the heroes and most of the intense action occurs when these family members are learning about and struggling with the dilemma and the cause of the "signs."
This is a scary suspenseful show. I got the feeling that Shyamalan had a very tight agenda and divulged bits of information when he thought we were ready and not a second sooner. Not unlike that other guy that talked funny and his first name started with Alfred. This movie has a shot at some nominations. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 93. Larry H.
Larry H. is in the nation's capital with the wife and boy. We took a planned break from the activities to see the opening day third installment of "Austin Powers in Goldmember." You have not been to all the theatres of the world until attending a movie at Union Station in DC. Melting pot? That theatre is more of a melting pot than folks that hang around the Statute of Liberty. Standing in line (it was a sellout) was the rich and powerful wannabees, congressional staffers, gangstas, old, young, and foreigners. We arrived early and the two guys in front of us were comparing passports, the college kids behind us were talking trash, and my favorite was the dude sitting by himself in the middle of the row with a vacant seat on either side of him who refused to move when a couple showed up near the beginning of the movie and were forced to choose to sit on each side of this lonely guy. As the couple approached the lonely guy, I nudged Eric H. to make sure he saw what I believed to be a standoff; I was right: the dude never budged and the couple obligingly sat down without a whimper. What a country!
Austin Powers 3 is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. I laughed numerous times until I had tears in my eyes, breathing problems, and peculiar things in my nose. I love doing that. It helps if one has the mentality of a twelve year old boy. Ok, I know I qualify even though occasionally I slip into the maturity of a twenty year old, but not often. Michael Myers is a comedic genius -writing and acting. He resurrects shagadellic Austin Powers, Dr. Evil, Fat Bastard and this new character Goldmember. Seems that Goldmember, who is an unattractive Dutch disco maven, met with an unfortunate smelting accident and lost his privates. Not to worry - Goldmember's member was reconstructed with gold. That's enough of the plot; it's not important. If you liked the first two AP movies, you'll love this one, too. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 94. Larry H.
This is Comrade Larry H. 1961. The Commies are trying to keep up with the latest deployment of nuclear rockets via submarine by the USA and they are moving too fast. An accident is sure to happen. And it does. And Comrade Harrison Ford is the Soviet captain that must cope with this almost-gonna-start-WWIII crisis if the sub blows up/melts down. Comrade Liam Neeson is also on the Russian sub helping Comrade Ford make everything right for the motherland so the Americans will not do something stupid.
I usually write my comments about movies within a half hour of seeing the flick. Last Friday July 19th, I came back to my office to follow my customary routine and scribble down some of my thoughts and send them out to some of you people via email. But, alas, my ISP/DSL was down so I postponed the event until now: Monday July 22nd. I did not care much for this movie and do not have much to say about it because it has been three days and what little I can remember about the characters etc, I am too nonplused to conjure up the energy to comment. Other than to say that I was tired of everyone referring to each other as "Comrade."
But I have a trivia question. What movie character uttered these immortal words - "...get in my belly." Hint: he was a very large fellow.
I will be in Washington DC this coming Friday and I plan to see Austin Powers 3 on Friday. If George W. wants to speak to me while I'm in town, he can wait until after I've seen Dr. Evil and Mini Me and the boys try to kill AP. I have a life size poster (talking) of Austin Powers in my garage. Oh, Behave! Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 76. Larry H.
Road to PerditionThis is the first movie of the year that will be a player for Oscar. The cast/acting was outstanding. Director Sam Mendes (American Beauty) got the max from his actors. My only complaint with Mendes is that he allowed a couple of dips in the action and emotion in the middle of the movie that broke my concentration and connection with the story and its characters. Accordingly, the movie is first class; not great.
This is Tom Hanks' movie. If ever there was a father-son movie, this is it. However, my son can not go to this movie without me because it is rated R. I plan to take him (Eric H. age 16) if he will stoop to being seen with me in public. It is rated R because of violence and cussing; no sex.
The setting is an unnamed city not too far from Chicago in the winter of 1931. Hanks is an enforcer for the local Irish Mafia headed up by Paul "Cool Hand Luke" Newman. Newman has a son (Daniel Craig) who is jealous of his father's relationship with Hanks character Mike Sullivan. Hanks also has a 12 year old son (Liam Aiken) who becomes involved in the mix when he witnesses something that he should not have seen. Jude Law plays a quirky hit man of hit men. Seems he likes to take photos of his victims while posing as a photo journalist. Nice twist; his hat/derby is memorable as well. Stanley Tucci plays an Italian Mafioso and also turns in a stellar performance.
This screenplay by David Self is well done if you blame the "dips" on Mendes. When the story causes the audience to relate to a murderer who repeatedly kills because the victims/bad guys really deserve it, then you have the mark of a complicated story with classically conflicted characters.
I am a Hanks fan so I try not to be prejudice in his favor, but the boy can act. I would like to have seen Newman on the screen more, but there was not room for him and Hanks even though there is at least one scene where they share the screen which reminded me that these were two guys who deserve the title of "movie star." Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 93. Larry H.
I was so psyched for this movie. Been countin' the days. What a dud! As sequels go - can you say "Rocky VI"? It was painful. The ads tout "Same Planet. New Scum". Should have said "Same Shtick Scum Dumb." And so are you, if you go see this movie without seeing some of the other movies that are now playing. Ok, I know you want to see this reset of Agent J (Will Smith) and Agent K (Tommy Lee Smith). If you disagree, let me know. I never went to sleep, but I was groggy.
This movie was not the fault of Tommy Lee and Will; I'm glad because they are two of my boys. But datgum it was disappointing and a retread of the original. A wisecracking dog named Frank was the highlight. The villian was a skank named Serleena (Lara Flynn Boyle) who ran around in her all-together a la Victoria Secret and even she was a bust. Pun intended.
I suppose I must assigned the blame to Director Barry Sonnenfeld and Executive Producer Stephen Spielberg. If those two boys can screw up, I guess there's hope for the rest of us. Happy Fourth of July. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 70. Larry H.
Director John Woo has created a movie that is almost endlessly combat of vivid blood and guts with brief moments of tenderness, racism, and courage. The Windtalkers are Navajo Indians recruited during World War II because the military used their language as a basis for a communication code in the Pacific campaign. Sgt. Joe Enders (Nicolas Cage) is assigned to guard one of the Windtalkers and if Private Yahzee (Adam Beach) is about to be captured by the Japanese and thus jeopardize the integrity of the code, Sgt. Enders is suppose to follow orders and "at any cost" stop such a capture even if it means killing a fellow Marine.
Sgt. Enders is a veteran of many battles and loss of comrades in the field before taking on the task of "protecting" Ben Yahzee. Cage's Enders is the classic flawed and conflicted warrior that copes with the rigors of war by taking unreasonable risks and killing larger quantities of Japs. His primary weapon is a machine gun, but he kills 30-40 of the enemy with his 1911 semi-automatic pistol. The other guns of the squad ran from the standard issues M1 and M1 Carbine 30 Cal. to flame throwers, bazookas, and hand grenades. There is also much hand to hand combat with knives and fists. The movie is rated R because of the violence. Weak stomachs should go see "The Bourne Identity."
The movie had flashes of brilliance, but I wanted to holler to Woo "enough already with the combat scenes." There was ample character development, but too much action; I'm talking about intense killing and bleeding for most of this 2 1/2 hour movie. There was zero comedy relief and I am in a downer mood as I write these comments. So perhaps Woo won. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 84. Larry H.
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
I wanted to see "Bad Company" because it appeared to be a manly show about spies and guns and such, but nooooooo, my schedule got all messed up and I had to take what I could get and that was the 2:15 showing of Ya-Ya Sisterhood. The crowd was very diverse and in excess of 60. Could this girlie movie possibly be a hit? You macho types definitely should stay home unless you are just trying to make points with the Mrs. I had to let out my feminine side just to catch on to the plot and cuteness of the Mother-Daughter relationship from hell.
Ellen Burstyn is the mother from hell and queen of the ya-ya's which was a group founded among four 10-11 year old girls in Southern Louisiana circa 1937 in a semi-pagan ceremony that sealed their loyalty for life. The daughter is Sandra Bullock. The other ya-ya's are Fionnula Flannagan (my favorite sort of), Shirley Knight, and Maggie Smith. James "Maverick" Garner plays a lackey husband. Say it ain't so.
Look, I kinda sorta enjoyed the movie because at times the plot was clever and the acting was outstanding, but writing about this flick that was produced in part by the All Girl Production Co. with Bette Midler as one of the Executive Producers is making me weary. I suppose this is still part of the John Wayne payback. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 80. Larry H.
I love a nuclear explosion. The mayhem and destruction and in this case the blame game by the USA pointing the finger at the Russians is fun. But who really set off the bomb and where did it come from? We the audience know all the facts and background because the movie sets it up for over an hour and we watch the President (James Cromwell) and the Director of the CIA (Morgan Freeman) and our Tom Clancy hero Jack Ryan (Ben Affleck) try to figure out what we already know.
The beginning of the movie is painfully slow and sophomoric. Affleck's Jack Ryan is a disgrace to Harrison Ford and Baldwin (you know the Baldwin I'm talking about; I never can keep those boys straight) as former JR's. Affleck should be named Buddy Ryan or Doofus Ryan or Matt Damon Ryan, but not my hero Jack Ryan. Not buying it.
Bad timing. The movie starts out with a reference to the terrible dilemma of the 27,000 nukes that those sorry Ruskies have and they might blow us up real good. The problem with that premise is that George W. and President Putin are soul brothers now and mutual house guests and the threat from Big Red doesn't seem so Evil currently. What about terrorists? You can always find somebody out there that wants to nuke us. Now that's a little scary. The look of a mushroom skyline in the good ole USA gives me the creeps.
So, here's the deal: if you can get over the fact that Ben Affleck is a silly Jack Ryan; the story is historical misplaced; and the action is disjointed, then you can enjoy this movie. It is not one of Clancy's best. I'm pulling for this movie to be a hit because the word on the street is that Clancy is trying to amass one billion dollars before he is 60 and currently is limited to $625 million. Tom C. is the executive producer so buying a ticket will be helping him reach his goal. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 79. Larry H.
I did not sleep during "Insomnia" but I was in a dark theatre. The setting of this story was Alaska during the season when there is no nighttime, only sunlight. There has been a brutal murder of a local high school girl. Two hotshot cops from L.A. come up to investigate and help the local small town police solve the crime. Al Pacino (Will Dormer) is the lead cop and he is under a lot of stress from his own baggage back in California as well as with his partner. Detective Dormer suffers from too much sunlight insomnia and a deeply conflicted past and present. The "hunter" has lost his moral compass as much as the hunted/murderer.
This movie is adapted from the 1997 Norwegian movie that was set in Norway which has similar 24 hour sunlight challenges. Supposedly the cat and mouse moves by the main characters are nearly the same in this American version. Robin Williams and Hillary "I'm Really a Woman" Swank turn in steady performances. Even though Williams, Swank, and Pacino have all won an Oscar, none will be forthcoming from this movie. "Steady performances" means they did a good job but not memorable. Pacino is the tail that wags this dog...er movie. You will like his acting, but the story and action are too slow in the middle and drags an otherwise cleverly written script.
Director Christopher Nolan is known for his close-ups of people; however, please notice the screen time for the various pistols that are involved in the mystery - Walther 9 mm, Smith and Wesson .38 Revolver, and a S&W .45 semi-automatic. The crowd on a Friday afternoon was around 80 which is large. Probably will be a box-office hit, but I was disappointed because I had such high expectations. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 85. Larry H.
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
Yoda! Yoda! Yoda! I had a video deposition of a doctor at 10:00 AM, but I informed everyone before we started that we needed to move along because I had to be in my seat for Episode II no later than noon. All cooperated and I was eating popcorn before the previews started. I never go that earlier, but there were 24 of us in theatre 16 daring the movie to start so we could begin the experience. There was a buzz in the crowd.
George Lucas learned from whatever mistakes he made in Episode I. This movie will statisfy everyone: from the Star War dweebs to the casual moviegoer. The only thing that will keep this movie from being rated as "spectacular or great" is one's tainted high expectations. Lucas delivers the goods. The story line is complicated and widespread and the ending is awesome.
Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) is ten years older and a brash, handsome young Jedi Knight ready for love and war. Padme Amidala (Natalie Portman) has come to Coruscant for a big senate meeting because there is unrest in the Galactic Senate and the Separatists are up to their old tricks of upsetting the Republic. Obi Wan Kenobie (Ewan "Moulin Rouge" McGregor), Jedi Master Mace Windu (Samuel L. Jackson), and Yoda (Frank Oz) are the heart of the Jedi Knights and we hope the Force is with them.
The bad guys are led by a former Jedi Master - Count Dooku. The ultimate Dark Side character is the mysterious Bounty Hunter Jango Fett. Dooku's character is beautifully played by Christopher Lee. The standoff/fight between Dooku and Yoda is legendary.
Special effects, the John Williams music, acting, script, and action scenes are up to Star War standards. The latest wait is over and we won. Episode III - '05! Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 92. Larry H.
I would have liked to see a good movie or something like it. But instead I saw a wannabe Marilyn Monroe playing a Seattle news reporter who claims her "...life is perfect" but she really wants to move to New York and work for the net. Aneglina "Lips" BillyBob-Jolie will not hurt her career in this alleged romantic comedy because she has the right stuff. But not even her lips could carry this pitifully written piece of puff.
There is the obligatory love triangle and the "what's life all about?" question caused by a street prophet's prediction that Lanie Kerrigan (Lips) will die next Thursday. "Uh oh, I better change my life because I'm just a shallow bimbo and I might die if this homeless man is truly a prophet." And that folks is the plot. If you can buy into that, then you deserve this movie. Oh yeah, it ain't funny and not very romantic. I guess that's why they call it a "romantic comedy." Hey, that's funny!
Believe it or not, I like the beginning and the ending. The middle hour and fifteen minutes almost put me to sleep. I liked the cast of characters: 1. Street Prophet - Tony "Wings" Sholhoub who stood on the street corner sharing his wisdom while standing on a crate so he would "be closer to God." His line was "I see, I say." 2. Cameraman Boyfriend - Edward Burns. I lied. I don't like Burns or his character. 3. Barbara Walters type Interviewer Lady - The First Lady of TV- Stockard "Rizzo" Channing. Riz and I have been close for 24 years so I'm prejudice when she's on the screen. I think I'm sweet on her. 4. Lips - heck, I think I'm sweet on her, too, if she would not wear Billy Bob's blood around her neck. 5. Baby Ruth - not in the movie, but I brought one into the theatre with some big red gum. I laced the popcorn with baby ruth and coke and chased it with big red; I think I have gas. I'm sorry I had to say "gas" but that's the result of editing as it is.
Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 78. Larry H.
The popcorn was tasting especially delicious. I took that as a sign of a good movie. I like signs because then I can pretend everything is ok with the world and my escape to the movies will be fruitful. I even got my parking spot and we all know that is a sign from God when I get what is rightfully mine.
Another sign from God is when the God Bomb Theory kicks in. The GBT has not been instituted in a while, but I must admit that I wanted the Heavens to send down a small nuclear explosive and nuke this movie and kill all connected to it (except the audience) so I could leave and get on with the rest of my life. As I was leaving the theatre after sitting through the entire flick, I was walking down the big hallways at Loew's muttering to myself "you big gutless piece of moviegoing crap...you know you should've walked...and you would have if you had any guts...how can people depend on you to tell it like it is if you are not willing to 'walk' when appropriate." Please forgive me.
What a waste of talent: Samuel L. Jackson and Ben Affleck. Not to mention a small role by William Hurt. I like all those actors - a lot. But they should apologize to me. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69. Larry H.
Happy Good Friday! I picked a good movie today. I have not been to a movie in weeks. I have got to do something about my day job. I am starting a trial that will take weeks to complete and yesterday while in court I noticed a funny look in the judge's eye that I took to mean that he might hold court on Good Friday. Good Judge did not require such a sinful gathering and I am back on track temporarily. The bad news is that the theatre was very crowded for a Friday afternoon; dern holidays brings out the amateurs.
Jodie Foster plays a newly divorced rich lady with a young daughter. The two of them are trying to start a new life by buying a 4200 square feet brownstone (condo for you local people) on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. Seems the previous owner believed in extreme security with cameras, supplies and a special steel reinforced room to hide/retreat if the bad guys ever came in his home. First night, three bad guys break in and Jodie and the daughter barely make it into the safety of the "panic room." But is it safe and what do the bad guys want?
Note the costume of Ms. Foster: ordinary clothes, glasses, no jewelry, plain hairdo, and gloomy face. Director David Fincher is obviously communicating that Meg Altman (Jodie) is sad and vulnerable. And bitter. But is she weak and too afraid to fight the bad guys? Will she fight like an 'ole momma cow if you attack her calf? Answer: Audrey Hepburn - "Wait Until Dark."
This thriller worked on me. During the last quarter of the movie, I noticed that I was holding my hands together tightly with fingers interlaced and not moving. A shrink told me one time that this type of behavior is called "gripping." Well then, put me down for some gripping, because I liked these characters and I did not want anything bad to happen to them. Hats off to screenwriter David Koepp who manages to make the audience laugh throughout the movie while creating at least one endearing bad guy - Forest Whitaker. The other two bad guys (Dwight Yoakam and Jared Leto) weren't worth killin' which can be an endearing trait if you are a villain.
I was shocked at the quality of this movie. Could it be that a March movie has Academy Award potential? Yes, Springtime Breath. Jodie has done it again. Big hit and some chance of awards. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 93. Larry H.
I went to this movie primarily because Halle Berry was nominated for Best Actress and the word on the street was that she has a love scene with Billy Bob Thornton. Seems like quite a combination. The bonus was the movie itself It may be the top pick for the 2001 Sugar Awards for Best Screenplay by Milo Addica and Will Rokos. The story is compelling. Watch your local emails for the upcoming Sugar Awards by Larry H.!
Billy Bob's Hank is a correctional officer who heads up a team that carries out the death penalty via the electric chair. His father (Peter Boyle) retired from the same job and now lives with him. His son works with him on the execution team and also lives with Hank. This family does not know the meaning of love or tolerance and revels in racial bigotry. The movie is raw. In the first fifteen minutes we hear retching off screen, see up close sex with the local prostitute in a motel, a shotgun intimidation by Hank of two young black boys, physical and mental abuse of a child by his mother, the sadness and loneliness of death row, and the N word.
Now that Director Marc Foster has your attention in the opening scenes, then he sets the hook and reels off successive shock and emotional sequences. These types of scenes then transform the audience into an attempt at love and tenderness by Hank and Halle Berry's Leticia who is a destitute waitress. Hank and Leticia have been devoid of such caring and compassion in their past so why would they be able to make contact now? The answer and the power is the brilliant story and outstanding acting. Halle deserves her nomination and might win it all. But Billy Bob has evolved into one of the dominant actors and most bankable stars in Hollywood. Billy Bob did not receive any nomination for his three movies ("Bandits" and "The Man Who Wasn't There") that also premiered in 2001, so I hereby award him the 2001 Best Actor For A Body Of Work By A Very Freaky Man.
If you see a lot of movies, then this is a must see. If you are an occasional moviegoer, then either pass on this one or wait for the video. Most of you need to take a mature adult with you. Only professionals should attend such a flick on a Friday afternoon and sit all alone in a dark theatre. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 93. Larry H.
The only Iris I've ever known was my girlfriend in the fifth grade. However, this Iris (Murdoch) was British and played by Judi Dench (old) and Kate Winslet (young). That's two pretty dynamic broads for one character and they both received nominations. Iris' "old" husband (Jim Broadbent) also received a nomination for best supporting actor. Three acting nominations in one movie was too much for me to ignore. So, I ventured yet again to the underground theatres of the Greenway Plaza. For pity sake, the seats don't even rock; much less have stadium seating. What has this world come to? When I bought my ticket for this opening day (locally) 12:20 PM showing, I timidly slid my parking ticket across the counter to the clerk and said in a whisper "...ya'll validate, don't you?" He reminded me that if I had parked in the correct parking lot (#3) he would be happy to validate. Then, he added in that "you sure are stupid where are you from anyway, Sugar Land" voice that I could go back to the maze of parking lots and move my car for paid parking. I acted as though it mattered not to me, but you people know it was grinding my gears not to get "free" parking. Larry H. down four bucks!
Young Iris in the 50's was beautiful, flirtatious, adventurous, and a brilliant author. The older Iris suffered from the cruel disease of Alzheimer's. The movie easily and often switched and flowed between the old and young Iris. The ladies' performances were magnificent and worthy of nominations. Of course, they can't win because their votes will be split, but two great performances based on the same character is noteworthy and will be a trivia question. Broadbent's character portrayal of the loving, devoted husband, the writer John Bayley, was a cross between Art Carney and Red Skelton. Need I say more?
Young Iris/Kate also is quite willing to disrobe and go swimming or have a roll in the hay with a list of men. Young, bumbling Bayley knew about her goings-on, but he made peace and married a beautiful young woman and stayed loyal to her when she was old and pitiful. A great movie is always about love. Speaking of naked Kate, and we were, she exhibits frontal, backal, and topal nudity. The "Titanic" girl was a cross between Madonna and Shirley MacClaine's "The Trouble With Harry.". Need I say more? Judi Dench was a cross between Judi Dench and Judi Dench.
I'm a little jealous when the Brits produce wonderful movies partly because I'm still a little ticked about that whole taxation without representation thing, but I'm trying to work through it. I know one of the reasons they have such great actors; they don't have any scenery worth looking at and so all the concentration and focus is on the character/actor. If you want some American action, go see "John Q" (Denzel Washington) or "Hart's War" (Bruce Willis) but if you want to see some outstanding acting then go see "Iris." Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 91. Larry H.
I'm in a big hurry. I came back to the office after the movie to write and send out my review and lo and behold I had to work...a lot. Bummer. So here is the short version. Loved the movie.
The is the movie version of the classic novel by Alexandre Dumas about the young innocent sailor named Edmund Dantes (Jim Caviezel) who is betrayed by his best friend Fernand Mondego (Guy Pearce) and ends up in the Chateau d' IF. The bad news is that the Chateau d' IF is a horribly cruel prison and Dantes suffers beatings and imprisonment for 13 years. While Dantes is in prison for a crime he did not commit, he is befriended by a fellow inmate (Richard Harris) who teaches him the ways of the world and how to sword fight. Dantes also works up a terrible hatred and Resentment toward his friend and his former lover, Mercedes, who marries Mondego.
Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord and Dantes said it, too. He escapes from prison and he has a major mad-on for anybody connected with his unfair past. He tells the lovely Mercedes (Dagmara Dominiczyk) in an almost tender moment "...if you ever loved me, then don't steal my hatred." That, my friends, is one of the greatest lines ever uttered.
Dantes is a wonderful hero and I have hereby decided that when I grow up, I want to be a sword fighter and handsome...and rich... and stab a few people...and....well you will just have to go see this flick to see how I plan to live the rest of my life. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 92. Larry H.
Sam (Sean Penn) is retarded and has fathered a daughter. The mother abandons Sam and the newborn in California. Sam successfully raises the child who he names Lucy in honor of the Beatles' song "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds." Sam loves the Beatles; "...so do I, Sam." Even though Sam is an attendant at Starbucks (not coffemaker because he is mentally unable) he raises a seemingly happy and intelligent little blonde darling of a child. Help in raising the child comes mainly from a group of Sam's retarded male friends and a spinster neighbor who has not been out of her house in years because of her own baggage. Everything goes peachy until Lucy becomes seven and goes to school. Then the authorities place Lucy in a foster home for obvious reasons.
There are court proceedings and Sam desperately needs an attorney. He is willing to pay by the hour, but he explains to successful attorney Rita Harrison (Michelle Pheiffer) that he makes "eight dollars an hour." At first, Lovely Rita Meter Maid rudely rejects Sam's attempts to hire her, but later is shamed into taking his case pro bono. Sam is not sure what "pro bono" means but he is elated that Rita with the same last name as one of the Beatles must be a good lawyer.
Do not worry about me mistakenly and unprofessionally revealing the ending of this movie because after about an hour and fifteen minutes of utter disbelief that I did not care about the characters or their plight, I walked. The Friday 12:40 PM audience was in excess of 100 souls and they seemed to be laughing and enjoying the show, so perhaps some of you will; I did not. A man needs to pack his bags and quietly leave a theatre every once in while; it is good for one's dignity especially if one leaves whilst carrying his soft drink and empty popcorn bag obviously indicating that he is leaving the theatre with no intention of returning and with just a hint of a 'tude of "...and you people are stuck here for at least 45 more minutes." Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69 W. Larry H.
This is a movie about war; combat to be more precise. For over two hours Director Ridley Scott subjects the audience to almost nonstop urban, bloody combat.
Based on the events of October 1993, the American Rangers and Delta Force are in Mogadishu, Somalia to assist in humanitarian aid for the starving Somalian people and to capture/kill the infamous Warlord General Aidid. The "war" takes place in the streets of Mogadishu and the enemy is the local "militia" and they are more like a mob than they are militia, but they have automatic rifles and there are thousands of them and only hundreds of American soldiers.
Any movie about war is primarily about the fighters. The good news is that the American soldiers fought with tremendous bravery and determination. The bad news for the viewer is that there is so much of the movie devoted to quick-action bullets and bombs that there is little time for in-depth character development which is vital to a great movie. Scott has a made a technically superb movie, but not an entertaining movie. I would guess that "Saving Private Ryan" had less combat scenes than this 2 hour 24 minutes movie.
This movie will be remembered for its ferocious battle scenes with an intensity that is unprecedented. "Black Hawk Down" is the new measuring stick for never-let-'em-up combat. I was totally engaged during the movie, but I wanted more and it never happened. I showed up in a blue funk and left in an even deeper funk. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 89. Larry H.
The British have come to the burgs. I saw this very British film circa 1932 at Loew's at the Fountains. As I left the theatre and was approaching my assigned parking spot I found myself saying aloud "...I say there, Ole Chap." There was not a chap near me; I just wanted to try my English accent. Dreadful. Please be discreet with this information. We all have our secrets.
And the secrets of this large group of aristocrats and servants that came together for a weekend of shooting at Sir William's country home were vast. All the characters were straight out of central casting. If you like British murder mysteries and the games they play, you will love this movie. If on the other hand, you merely admire Agatha Christie as a "good" writer, then perhaps you should stay at home or go see the very American film "A Beautiful Mind."
The murder does not occur for over two hours. There are many maids, servants, butlers, valets, My Ladies, My Lordships, and an American film producer and each character is adequately developed. The comings and goings in this "mansion"; the nods, touches, and rendezvous between the house guests and their "below stairs" staff is a thing of beauty. Director Altman has done a splendid job in portraying the English country life and the British class system in pre-war Britain. But frankly, My Lady, I don't give a darn. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 81. Larry H.
Greenway Plaza is one of only two venues for this picture. I wanted to see this movie because it received some Golden Globe nominations which sometimes portend a real nomination and I did not want to get caught unaware. Also, I want to be on the cutting edge so I can make you people think that I am a very hip moviegoer that will even go to an underground theatre to accomplish my task. I do not like the theatres at Greenway Plaza; the place was cold. I know it is cold outside, but how 'bout throwing a few logs on the fire and getting the temp down to room temperature. I never took my coat off during the entire two and half hours. The popcorn was stale. January 4, 2002.
David "Twin Peaks" Lynch wrote and directed this flick. Do you remember when the TV show "Twin Peaks" was fun and entertaining and then it went off the deep end with bizarre characters, music, and scenes that did not make sense but seem to bolster the notion that anything goes? Well, Lynch remembers because he has taken his "talents" one step past bizarre. Is that possible?
Short version of plot: perky girl goes to Hollywood to become a star and meets dark haired mystery woman that is the only survivor from a car wreck but has no memory of her identity but knows she is in trouble; goofy movie director is pushed around by the movies' financiers. Two hours into the movie the plot was still dangling and I did not care about or like any character. I realize that Lynch wants the audience to be confused and/or desperate to figure out his story and symbolism. I pretty much understood the movie; I just didn't enjoy it. Near the end, Lynch employs time travel, I think, and identity switching. The acting was very good, but I do not want to give them any accolades because it might encourage Lynch. Rock 'n Roll.
Grade 69. Larry H.
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